Sorry I've been awol this past week. I had been having a minor meltdown due to a disastrous wedding dress dilemma. Long story short- for a long while now, too long actually, I had been surpressing an overwhelming dread about my wedding dress. Each fitting I would go to, I would leave feeling unsatisfied, incredibly anxious, and increasingly nervous. "It's ok, it's not finished, it will be FUCKING FABULOUS when it is finished, and I will feel that huge YES!! THIS IS THE ONE! moment that every other bride-to-be describes".
Yet, as I arrived home from my second to last fitting on Saturday, I collapsed on the couch, and broke down. And once I popped, I couldn't stop. "What am I going to do, what am I going to do, what am I going to do", was coming out of my mouth in panicked sobs, whilst Oli looked on helplessly, struggling to finds the words to comfort me in an extremely uncomfortable situation.
Epiphany moment- I've got to get a new dress. How can I get married in a dress that makes me cry unhappy tears?
Oli concurred, it's time for a new dress. The next problem was, how the hell am I going to find a new dress with only 6 weeks to go? Within minutes I had phoned the only store in WA who sold 'Anna Campbell' dresses which I had seen & loved online, and the absolute legend of a woman there, upon hearing my dire situation, opened up her shop an hour early on Sunday to squeeze me in. The very first dress I tried on, instantly gave me that feeling. Tears sprung up in the corner of my eyes, as I realised, the world would not be ending, I would be wearing a dress that I adored. Of course, I didn't instantly say YES I'LL TAKE IT (I had at least learnt something over the last 12 months), I tried on every other dress in their store just in case. Alas, as expected, the one that gave me my precious YES, was the winner. It literally felt as though relief flooded through my veins, flowing gloriously & abundantly.
What followed within the next few days however was far from pleasant, most noteably, breaking the news to my dressmaker. It was awkward, and shitty, and I felt as though I could see his ego being crushed like a clove of garlic through the phone line. I should have spoken up sooner, I shouldn't have let it go as far as I did, I wasted so much of his time, and of my own, but in the end, it is all OK.
Funny that isn't it? Its ok now. I had been so distraught, so wound up, such a bloody wreck on Saturday, and it's now Tuesday and it is ok.
To be totally honest with you, this entire process of planning a wedding, has been far more stressful than I had imagined. Doing it here in Perth by ourselves, not being able to share it with our family & friends, has put a big dark cloud over the whole process. I've no doubt that when the week comes it'll be everything we ever dreamed of and more, however, I wish it would just hurry the fuck up already so we can enjoy it & embrace it rather than worry about it.
One thing is for sure, I'll be sticking with Oli from here on out as there's absolutely no way I am getting married again.
Now that we are over that gigantic hurdle, it's time for a big glass of wine, and some Game of Thrones methinks,
Magic
Bye for now!
Gem
Thought of the day "who knew that The Beatles are the ultimate workout music? It's incredible!"
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