Week in Pics

An assortment of what's been happening of late;

Holy smokes this homemade prawn & avocado sushi totally hit the spot 

Decapitated bunnies & a lounge camp out, oh Easter..

Brand spanking super girly outfit which makes me feel like a Disney princess 

My fastest 6kms yet, crikey she was a sweaty run!

Boo boos

Mums been & gone and we miss her already!

Fresh nikes on this spunk, courtesy of Uncle Josh & Aunty Bonny

Autumn dips & a soaring gull 

Homemade chicken tenders & chippies = a family hit 

A little trip down memory lane to Sept 2012, Blakes first outing, look at that eensy weensy head would you? Swoon!

Looking forward to moving back to this familiar place sometime soon.. (Possibly sooner rather than later..)

Honeymooning here in 8 weeks (eeeeee!)

And that's a wrap,

Gem

Thought of the day "Blake saying "oopsie daiseeee" all day is quite possibly the cutest thing. Ever."

Two Toddlers

There's only one accurate word to describe having a two & a one year old, and that is chaos. 

Total & utter chaos. 

I'm on the fast track to becoming the worlds most patient parent, mostly because without patience, I'm fucked. 

It's 9am and already today, we have had a screaming competiton (Oscar copies Blake, Blake thinks it is hilarious, she bellows as loud as she can and he follows suit- take that a-hole neighbours). We also have four filled nappies attracting a swarm of blowflies outside (Blake still refuses to poo on the loo so she will go in her nighttime nappy, plenty of hours for extra stickiness- fun). And of course, loads of the standard toy-snatching-followed-by-wailing that has become so normal to my poor eardrums of late. Did I mention it's 9am? Only 9 hours to go folks!

Do not be fooled by their incredible good looks, these two equal trouble. 

Whilst pregnant with O, I had envisioned a magical sibling bond between the two, one that would mean they would be the best of friends from the very beginning. Clearly I overlooked this stage of their lives, where they barely understand what friendship means, and the only thing they both want, all.of.the.time, is my attention. And they are willing to fight to the death for it. They literally push each other over in order to make it to Mum first for a cuddle. Or some hair pulling. They tug at either of my legs, clawing & looking pleadingly for some tickles or a raspberry. Meanwhile, I look down at one, and then the other, and take my pick, knowing someone will scream no matter what I do anyway. Chaos. 

Sometimes, I find myself hanging out in the gated kitchen area when I have no desire to cook or eat anything. It's just safe in there you know? I will make myself look busy to fool the kids, but I'm not really cooking, it's genius. 

Don't get me wrong, I am digging this stage far more than the toddler & (colicky) baby stage. Now that Oscar can get around & demonstrate what he wants (food, it's always food), it makes life a helluva lot easier. And Blake going to daycare two days a week is an actual dream come true, I get at least 4 of the 8 hours to myself as Oscar is such a snoozaholic, so I most definitely cannot complain about that. 

However, it's the dreaded three T's of toddlerhood that are most difficult to deal with at the moment. 

1) Toilet training

The battle that never ends. Seriously B, just take a shit in the toilet already would you? It was all 'good girrrrllll' for the first 4 months, now it's all 'ugh'. She actually has the weeing down pat, all over those wee wee's, it's the code browns that we can't seem to get under control. We've tried it all, bribery, taking away the nappies at night, sitting her on the potty for hours (literally), showing her our efforts etc... And still, no deal. I'm now putting all my eggs in the daycare basket & hoping those ladies can sort her out. As for Oscar, there's absolutely no way I'm going to be one of those mums who introduces the potty to him early, I wish I could, but if that were the case I would be hanging out in the bathroom all day everyday and we would all starve to death. I may just wait until he's 5.. 

2) Teething 

Ah teething, welcome back. Just before Blake turned two, she completed her full set, and bang on cue- Oscar began sprouting his. His collection only has 6 so far, alas, he is currently adding to it at the moment. (Insert grimace here). Hello bulging gums, red raw bum, and ear piercing screams. As much as I feel sorry for the poor darlings, there is also loads of self pitying going on too. It's painful for the entire household. Let's just hope Oscar sprouts his next 14 pegs in record time. This slow, drawn out, one at a time nonsense is excruciating. 

Lastly,

3) Tantrums.

Ever seen a toddler completely lose their shit? If not, you don't want to. If so, I'm sorry. Before I go banging on about tantrums and how horrid they are, let it be known that our two are actually fairly well behaved compared to a lot of children I've witnessed. I don't want to make out like they're loads of hard work when in reality, they're pretty sweet & easy going kidlets. However, when they do throw a big tanty, us & the entire neighbourhood know all about it. The murderous shrieks would make you think they've been tortured, when in reality, they probably just can't reach their ball underneath the couch. I think that's the hardest thing about tantrums, they stem from the stupidest, smallest things, sometimes it is quite literally, nothing. They'll just start bawling. Oli and I will look at each other like 'what'd you do?!', but nada. Just a good old wail to get some attention. Throw in two kids, both vying for attention, and you get double the fun. 

!!!!!!!!!!

So many exclamation marks sum up my life. 

I adore my two toddlers, despite the alarming evidence above suggesting otherwise, I do. They're brilliant beings, they just require loads of work is all. So if you're contemplating banging out two children in record time, be prepared for chaos. That's all I'm saying. 

And now, I'm going to go in the gated kitchen and make some sushi, not just pretend to, I'm actually hungry. I just watched this brilliant doco called "Jiro dreams of sushi' about this bad ass 87 year old sushi maker from Tokyo who makes the best sushi in the world, and it's got my taste buds tingling. 

Hope you're all doing wonderfully and looking forward to your long, chocolatey break this weekend,

Toodloo!

Gem 

Thought of the day "Easter getaway yahoo!"

You are going to die.

Do you ever stop & think about your imminent and inevitable death? About the weight of the word 'eternity', and how our life is merely the smallest blip on the most gigantic radar? About how one day we will all be nothing but a pile of bones & dust & distant memories?

I do. It's macabre, and probably very emotionally unhealthy, but I do. 

Some people I know are so cool about dying. They're all "yeah it sucks but hey, that's the circle of life" rah dee rah. 

Yeah, no worries, just plunging into a black pit of never ending nothingness- but hey, that's life right?

I'm slightly more concerned about the issue to be fair. It's not like I sit down and dwell on the matter regularly, but when I see all of the complete chaos & destruction & death shoved down our throats via the unavoidable media, I often think, shit- we'll be dead someday too. And then what? 

Unlike the smug religious folk who firmly believe they have already sorted out their accommodation on the other side, I'm fairly convinced we'll just be dead. And that'll be that. Of course, if I happen to die and then *poof* (is that how it would happen, *poof?*) I'm wrapped in a white mink gown, floating towards some fluffy lands with a giant man (sexist) and his huge hands welcoming me at the door, I would be pretty chuffed. Alas, if the stories really are true, I fear I wouldn't get the ticket to the big old pearly gates anyway. 

Or, if reincarnation exists, and my soul is transplanted into a bad ass gorilla king of the jungle, or a lanternfish whizzing around hundreds of meters below the surface, that'd be pretty f'n rad. I could deal with that.

But this whole nothing business, forever & ever? Not kosher. 

So somebody either make that magic potion for immortality quick smart (I know

I know, overpopulation would kill us anyway, don't kill my buzz on this though ok?), or if a scientist could guarantee me a spot in some sort of after life, then I can forget about the topic and move on. 

So, if you're a genius, or a witch, get busy please.

Meanwhile, I reaaaally should stop procrastinating on these two days that B is in daycare. All this free time is so friggen luxurious, and yet all I do is read & write rather than do anything of any use. 

Meh, back to my book.

Happy Thursday folks, cheers to still being alive (for now...dun dun dunnnnn). Sorry if I have now made you think about how you will all die one day by the way, it's just the circle of life though right? Totally cool.

It's fine.

I'm fine.

Bye

Gem

Thought of the day "I need an avocado tree before we go broke"

Hip hop happenings

Hey pretty people, how are we all?

Hope everyone had a satisfactory weekend.. We've been flat stick (shit I am a mum aren't I) around here. Wedding planning, & Mum arriving, & Oscars bday party, has left me with some pretty unattractive sags underneath my eyeballs today. 

However, we had an absolutely splendid sun-soaked, seaside, picnic yesterday afternoon for Oscars (second) celebration;

Two hours before we were due to leave, I whipped up some sushi, & rice paper rolls, grabbed cheese & crackers & fruit, and en route, stopped in at the cheesecake shop to grab a big old mud cake because who can be bothered baking these days? Not I. 

In the end, for a highly disorganised partaaaay, it turned out to be a big fat success in every way. Mostly thanks to Mother Nature for playing her part, and also to the large group of hippies re enacting an orgy dance just metres away- people watching was at its peak. 

In wedding news, I had a breakthrough on Saturday. After what felt like an eternity, I found the shoes;

(Taking feet pics isn't as easy as one might think by the way)

Did I mention how much of a pain in the ass this task was? Finding a shoe that wasn't typically bridal, but wasn't too over the top, but was comfy, and wasn't too high, that was suitable for the grass, and that I could wear again (because who wants to buy shoes that can only be worn once?), was an absolute nightmare. And then I spotted these bad boys. And we were a match made in heaven. Tick! All that is left now is my veil, and we are done. Fucking done! Maybe I will be able to sleep ok at night now.. Here's hoping.

Only 8 weeks out now folks, Oli may want to find where those 'Exit' signs are before it's too late.

And in other not-so-fabulous news, the Black Keys have just gone and cancelled their show in Perth. It was supposed to be in 3 weeks time, and we've only been uber excited for 5 months. Such a bummer, alas, we'll be patiently awaiting their re scheduled date, and I'll just continue to thrash their album in the meantime. (I'll be that girl up the front who knows all the lyrics to every song, & is yelling inappropriate things and grinning like a maniac when the time comes)

Anywho, better scoot, grubs up;

I've been making this delectable avo smash combo with jalapeños, feta, tomato, limes, rocket & soft boiled eggs every single lunch for three weeks running now. Including weekends. No joke, this stuff is the business! 

Hope you all have a lovely Monday,

Gem 

Thought of the day "listening to the neighbours blast their terrible music makes me feel incredibly sorry for them &  their complete lack of musical knowledge- "yeah bitch, yeah yeah yeah" is that actually sellable stuff these days? Gross"

One Year Postpartum

Recently, I re read quite a few of my old posts from when I was pregnant with Oscar, right up until after his birth. It didn't take long to realise just how harsh I used to be on myself. And how obsessive I was about my body image, which I now realise, was ridiculous at a time where I unavoidably gained a lot of weight. 

The pregnancy part was actually rather enjoyable, mostly, but postpartum, it was as if I expected my body to bounce back within a few weeks, and when it didn't, I would whinge repetitively about all my 'soft edges'. 

It was unhealthy. And ironically, the more I would beat myself up, the more poor decisions I would make regarding eating & exercise. It's all a bit of a vicious cycle when it comes to pregnancy & weight I find. Because, in hindsight, I should have been easier on myself, I should have accepted the changes my body was making, and enjoyed every last piece of chocolate I was devouring. But hindsight is so easy to fall back on now isn't it? Once you're through it, once your body has recovered & resumed normalcy. 

I would love to say that if I were to ever fall pregnant again (never happening), I would have a totally different attitude with my postpartum body. But the fact is, I would probably still go through the same motions of feeling like a bit of a deflated balloon for a few months. As much as I am grateful for my body for producing actual real-life human beings, it's still hard to look down on the empty flap of skin on your stomach post birth and embrace it like "proud mummas" preach about on social media.

That's not to say I look in the mirror now and think "dayummm girl", I most certainly do not. There are days where I still ask Oli "why the hell won't these inner thighs budge, and this bloody roll on my lower tum, Oli WHY", (Oli doesn't have the answers incase you were wondering). I'm still female, I still have my insecurities and my cellulite, I just tend to not obsess over it anymore. 

Anywho, it's been a whole fricken year! The flap of skin has dispersed! And I've worked my ass off, quite literally, to get to where I am at this stage post Oscar;

12 whole months postpartum 

In all honestly, at around 4 months postpartum, I had pretty much given up all hope of ever looking or feeling this fit & healthy again. Oscars sporadic sleep patterns paired with my ferocious hunger whilst breastfeeding, meant I was gaining weight rather than dropping it, and I was losing confidence & motivation at an alarming rate. However, as soon as Oscar began sleeping through the night, and I had some excess energy under my belt, I began to slowly reintroduce exercise. For a start I was doing 3-4 walks a week, and over the months, I eventually built it up to doing 5-6 days a week at the gym. 

As for my diet, it is not even close to being perfect. Alas, it is definitely balanced. There will always be fruit and vegetables, and protein, and complex carbs in my daily regime, however, there will most likely be a bit of refined carbs & sugar, and possibly some trans fats on the weekends too (when I say possibly I mean highly likely). I drink at least three litres of water a day, however I also drink alcohol a few times a week too. If I reeeeally wanted to, I could tweak a few things to improve my health, but I just haven't quite reached the stage where I am ready to go that extreme yet. Chocolate, and carbs, and beer are way too delicious. 

In saying that, we are only two months out from our big day now, so I've got a penned plan of attack, which includes cutting out most alcohol and some refined carbs & sugars. Some, not all. There's always room for improvement isn't there? 

On a side note; Shit it's a tough gig being a girl in the modern world isn't it? I often dream of being born with a penis and how magnificent it would have been (I don't think Oli would agree). Sorry feminists, power to the vagina and all that, but having a penis would have been a far easier route to take. 

Anywho, gotta scoot, enjoy your day won't you?

Gem 

Thought of the day "looking forward to Perth dropping below 20 degs at some stage soon, we are living in the sweaty summer that never ends" 

Weekend in Pics

Aloha Monday! We meet again.. Here's what we got up to over the weekend;

Oscars birthday picnic, which was originally going to be just Oli, the kids and I, turned into quite the affair last Thursday eve.. (His actual bday party is this weekend, lucky bugger gets two)

He clearly had a ball.. (Cheap joke)

Girls girls girls 

Melon for miles

My great mate Kiel & his gorgeous partner Sharlene welcomed Milly to the world last week, oh how I pine to meet her! Congratulations guys!

"Food Mum, food. Stat"

Friday evening saw this incredible platter get devoured by Nat, Teesh, Sarah & I. I also made a lemon and pea risotto with fried snapper which went down a treat, but was left unphotographed. Followed up by a spectacular two hours of four square handball- so so funny/ sweaty. 

I was such a piece on Saturday, like, I didn't leave the house at all, however this breaky put a smile on my dial.

The BEST idea ever that I found at a swanky grocery store yesterday!!

Bloody good to see you again Easter 

We've had rain (sweet sweet rain)!! But as you can see, the sunshine is battling hard to break back through

I had a Mac make up trial yesterday, stocked up on the mountain of goodies we will need in Bali, and now the practise runs begin..

Monday morning strolls to daycare, little big gal leading the way..

And that's a wrap! This week I have a mountain of wedding to-do's, including last minute dieting, and on Friday my Mamma is arriving yahooo!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend,

Gem

Thought of the day "I forgot how spectacular having just one baby is"

Oscar is One!

Oscar our plump little nugget of deliciousness, is ONE!! This definitely calls for a trip down photographic-memory lane;

2 days out of the womb, all 7lb 14oz of him

1 month 

2 months

3 months 

4 months 

5 months 

6 months 

7 months 

8 months 

9 months 

10 months 

11 months 

And today! So happy to be a big birthday boy

Wow, what an exhausting & exhilarating year it has been! How Oli and I are even alive right now is a mystery to me, yet somehow, we have made it.

Looking back at my full term, cocky as all hell, pregnant self this time last year, is somewhat hilarious in hindsight. I had absolutely no idea what chaos we were in for.. 

Oscars (big brucey's) first year with us has been no stroll in the park. Infact, it was in stark contrast to Blakes peaceful beginning to life. Those first 12, torturous weeks of sleep deprivation, left me feeling like I could never love Oscar as much as I do Blake, and yet, as per usual with this parenting business, I was wrong. 

I am enthralled by this cheeky chunk of spunk. His smile that stretches right across his plump wee cheeks, with his little sporadic square pegs peeking through, is so contagious. The way he throws himself headfirst into Oli or I, his masculine way of showing affection, or how he watches Blake prance around with endless amounts of admiration & affection. How he shamelessly gawks while you eat your food until you feel incredibly awkward, and ultimately have to share with him. And especially the way he wobbles his head & flaps his arms like a fat little chicken whenever any music comes on. 

I love him & his quirky character with all of my might. 

Pretty soon those little legs of his will be strolling around like it ain't no thang, and I'll be fit as a fiddle chasing around two toddlers. TWO TODDLERS. Anybody know where I can buy those baby leashes? I swore I would never do it, but losing a child is the lesser appealing option...

To celebrate big O's big day, we plan on heading to the beach for a picnic this evening with some pals, paddling our toes in the ocean, and high fiving the shit out of each other for surviving the first year. 

Oh, and of course, we did a cake smash first thing;

Ironically, in true Oscar style, he refused to smash the cake, solely because that is all I wanted him to do. (Give him the remote or the iPad and he will smash it against the wall). Instead, he sat down and fiddled with his willy. Boys eh?

Gem

Thought of the day "tonight most definitely calls for wine (s)"

Week in Pics

It's been a while, so I thought I had better empty out some of my camera roll;

The most deliciously, colourful salada to wean myself off all the holiday food 

SJP knows her shit 

Currently enthralled 

Olis funky lamps make for mesmerising wall art 

Weeeeeeeeeeee (Oli is having more fun than B)

Nana is putty in their podgy hands 

Wedding style 'spo

Huge hunks of spunks getting all wet & wild

Smiley selfies 

Daydreaming of these steamed buns with pulled pork in Bali

Flashback to Blake as a teensy one week old cherub, to think she is turning 3 this year is an absolute mind fuck.

Serene Sunday's...

Lastly, I just dropped this little independent woman off at daycare for her very first time... "Byeeeeee Mum" before I had even put her bag down. Excuse me while I sob into my breakfast bowl.

Gem

Thought of the day "Our considerate landlord just moved in a bunch of 18 year old boys next door, brilliant. The house hunt begins!"