The pregnancy part was actually rather enjoyable, mostly, but postpartum, it was as if I expected my body to bounce back within a few weeks, and when it didn't, I would whinge repetitively about all my 'soft edges'.
It was unhealthy. And ironically, the more I would beat myself up, the more poor decisions I would make regarding eating & exercise. It's all a bit of a vicious cycle when it comes to pregnancy & weight I find. Because, in hindsight, I should have been easier on myself, I should have accepted the changes my body was making, and enjoyed every last piece of chocolate I was devouring. But hindsight is so easy to fall back on now isn't it? Once you're through it, once your body has recovered & resumed normalcy.
I would love to say that if I were to ever fall pregnant again (never happening), I would have a totally different attitude with my postpartum body. But the fact is, I would probably still go through the same motions of feeling like a bit of a deflated balloon for a few months. As much as I am grateful for my body for producing actual real-life human beings, it's still hard to look down on the empty flap of skin on your stomach post birth and embrace it like "proud mummas" preach about on social media.
That's not to say I look in the mirror now and think "dayummm girl", I most certainly do not. There are days where I still ask Oli "why the hell won't these inner thighs budge, and this bloody roll on my lower tum, Oli WHY", (Oli doesn't have the answers incase you were wondering). I'm still female, I still have my insecurities and my cellulite, I just tend to not obsess over it anymore.
Anywho, it's been a whole fricken year! The flap of skin has dispersed! And I've worked my ass off, quite literally, to get to where I am at this stage post Oscar;
In all honestly, at around 4 months postpartum, I had pretty much given up all hope of ever looking or feeling this fit & healthy again. Oscars sporadic sleep patterns paired with my ferocious hunger whilst breastfeeding, meant I was gaining weight rather than dropping it, and I was losing confidence & motivation at an alarming rate. However, as soon as Oscar began sleeping through the night, and I had some excess energy under my belt, I began to slowly reintroduce exercise. For a start I was doing 3-4 walks a week, and over the months, I eventually built it up to doing 5-6 days a week at the gym.
As for my diet, it is not even close to being perfect. Alas, it is definitely balanced. There will always be fruit and vegetables, and protein, and complex carbs in my daily regime, however, there will most likely be a bit of refined carbs & sugar, and possibly some trans fats on the weekends too (when I say possibly I mean highly likely). I drink at least three litres of water a day, however I also drink alcohol a few times a week too. If I reeeeally wanted to, I could tweak a few things to improve my health, but I just haven't quite reached the stage where I am ready to go that extreme yet. Chocolate, and carbs, and beer are way too delicious.
In saying that, we are only two months out from our big day now, so I've got a penned plan of attack, which includes cutting out most alcohol and some refined carbs & sugars. Some, not all. There's always room for improvement isn't there?
On a side note; Shit it's a tough gig being a girl in the modern world isn't it? I often dream of being born with a penis and how magnificent it would have been (I don't think Oli would agree). Sorry feminists, power to the vagina and all that, but having a penis would have been a far easier route to take.
Anywho, gotta scoot, enjoy your day won't you?
Gem
Thought of the day "looking forward to Perth dropping below 20 degs at some stage soon, we are living in the sweaty summer that never ends"
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