Total & utter chaos.
I'm on the fast track to becoming the worlds most patient parent, mostly because without patience, I'm fucked.
It's 9am and already today, we have had a screaming competiton (Oscar copies Blake, Blake thinks it is hilarious, she bellows as loud as she can and he follows suit- take that a-hole neighbours). We also have four filled nappies attracting a swarm of blowflies outside (Blake still refuses to poo on the loo so she will go in her nighttime nappy, plenty of hours for extra stickiness- fun). And of course, loads of the standard toy-snatching-followed-by-wailing that has become so normal to my poor eardrums of late. Did I mention it's 9am? Only 9 hours to go folks!
Do not be fooled by their incredible good looks, these two equal trouble.
Whilst pregnant with O, I had envisioned a magical sibling bond between the two, one that would mean they would be the best of friends from the very beginning. Clearly I overlooked this stage of their lives, where they barely understand what friendship means, and the only thing they both want, all.of.the.time, is my attention. And they are willing to fight to the death for it. They literally push each other over in order to make it to Mum first for a cuddle. Or some hair pulling. They tug at either of my legs, clawing & looking pleadingly for some tickles or a raspberry. Meanwhile, I look down at one, and then the other, and take my pick, knowing someone will scream no matter what I do anyway. Chaos.
Sometimes, I find myself hanging out in the gated kitchen area when I have no desire to cook or eat anything. It's just safe in there you know? I will make myself look busy to fool the kids, but I'm not really cooking, it's genius.
Don't get me wrong, I am digging this stage far more than the toddler & (colicky) baby stage. Now that Oscar can get around & demonstrate what he wants (food, it's always food), it makes life a helluva lot easier. And Blake going to daycare two days a week is an actual dream come true, I get at least 4 of the 8 hours to myself as Oscar is such a snoozaholic, so I most definitely cannot complain about that.
However, it's the dreaded three T's of toddlerhood that are most difficult to deal with at the moment.
1) Toilet training
The battle that never ends. Seriously B, just take a shit in the toilet already would you? It was all 'good girrrrllll' for the first 4 months, now it's all 'ugh'. She actually has the weeing down pat, all over those wee wee's, it's the code browns that we can't seem to get under control. We've tried it all, bribery, taking away the nappies at night, sitting her on the potty for hours (literally), showing her our efforts etc... And still, no deal. I'm now putting all my eggs in the daycare basket & hoping those ladies can sort her out. As for Oscar, there's absolutely no way I'm going to be one of those mums who introduces the potty to him early, I wish I could, but if that were the case I would be hanging out in the bathroom all day everyday and we would all starve to death. I may just wait until he's 5..
2) Teething
Ah teething, welcome back. Just before Blake turned two, she completed her full set, and bang on cue- Oscar began sprouting his. His collection only has 6 so far, alas, he is currently adding to it at the moment. (Insert grimace here). Hello bulging gums, red raw bum, and ear piercing screams. As much as I feel sorry for the poor darlings, there is also loads of self pitying going on too. It's painful for the entire household. Let's just hope Oscar sprouts his next 14 pegs in record time. This slow, drawn out, one at a time nonsense is excruciating.
Lastly,
3) Tantrums.
Ever seen a toddler completely lose their shit? If not, you don't want to. If so, I'm sorry. Before I go banging on about tantrums and how horrid they are, let it be known that our two are actually fairly well behaved compared to a lot of children I've witnessed. I don't want to make out like they're loads of hard work when in reality, they're pretty sweet & easy going kidlets. However, when they do throw a big tanty, us & the entire neighbourhood know all about it. The murderous shrieks would make you think they've been tortured, when in reality, they probably just can't reach their ball underneath the couch. I think that's the hardest thing about tantrums, they stem from the stupidest, smallest things, sometimes it is quite literally, nothing. They'll just start bawling. Oli and I will look at each other like 'what'd you do?!', but nada. Just a good old wail to get some attention. Throw in two kids, both vying for attention, and you get double the fun.
!!!!!!!!!!
So many exclamation marks sum up my life.
I adore my two toddlers, despite the alarming evidence above suggesting otherwise, I do. They're brilliant beings, they just require loads of work is all. So if you're contemplating banging out two children in record time, be prepared for chaos. That's all I'm saying.
And now, I'm going to go in the gated kitchen and make some sushi, not just pretend to, I'm actually hungry. I just watched this brilliant doco called "Jiro dreams of sushi' about this bad ass 87 year old sushi maker from Tokyo who makes the best sushi in the world, and it's got my taste buds tingling.
Hope you're all doing wonderfully and looking forward to your long, chocolatey break this weekend,
Toodloo!
Gem
Thought of the day "Easter getaway yahoo!"
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