We begrudgingly dropped him at the airport at lunchtime, and I then drove the hysterical children home whilst wearing sunglasses on a fittingly dark & gloomy day to mask the silent sobs that bubbled to the surface.
Actually that's a lie, we drove straight to the shops for icecream. The cookies and cream only briefly numbed the pain before Blake asked "Mumeee, Dadee on an airplane? Where's Dadee? I miss Daddee. Blake Ossy Mumee go on airplane too?" And the sobs came back with a vengeance.
Upon arriving home, it felt empty literally & figuratively. Most of our things have been boxed and taken away for the container, and we are left with a few toys, the TV (thank goodness), mattresses on the floor, three plates & cutlery, and clothes. This was amusing when Oli was still here, when we would laugh about camping out on the floor eating take out, and now it just feels weird.
Perhaps it seems silly, being an emotional wreck after only one night without Oli, but it's the bigger picture that's really hitting home to me. Our chapter in Perth together is over, I somehow have to get the kids and I back to NZ in three whole pieces, and we won't see Oli for nearly 5 months. Five fucking months.
The more melodramatic side of me is screaming "I would rather dieeee than be without my incredibly handsome husband, TAKE ME NOW!!" And then the rational side is saying "chill out man, it's just a blip on the radar. Change is exciting, and absence makes the heart grow fonder" Ra Dee Rah. So I'm feeling rather spastic, and fragile, alas the children are keeping me on my toes as per, and before we know it, we will be on that big bird headed home. I am thrilled. And terrified.
Totally open to you throwing in the towel and coming home whenever though Oli, no objections here.
Au Revoir,
Gem
Thought of the day "Must keep busy, must keep busy"
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