If I had to choose one word to describe how I felt about 2014, it would definitely be exhausted.
Making the transition from one grommet to two, was totally & utterly exhausting. The limited sleep, paired with the limited outside help, really pushed us to our mental, physical, and emotional limits this year. There were many, many points where I wanted to give up, walk out, throw in the towel. There were countless tears and endless frustration. And there was a lot more anger than I've ever been accustomed to.
It was by far, the hardest phase in my entire 25 years.
But then there was this guy;
And I can't pinpoint whether it's his ginormous blue peepers, his silky soft skin, the way in which he nuzzles into my bosom, or the fact that as soon as he sees me enter the room he flaps his arms like a spastic bird with sheer excitement, but none of those terrible times matter anymore. Infact, I would do it tenfold if it meant I get this prize at the end of it all.
My heart is bursting just looking at that photo. Love, pride, infatuation, and joy instantly come to mind.
And of course, there was his birth. Giving birth to Oscar at home was one of my resolutions for 2014, having the experience we longed for was hugely important to us. Achieving that, and reflecting on it now, I am elated beyond belief. In the years to come, I cannot wait to retell the tale of how Oscar came into the world to my children, and to their children.
Lets not forget my other (equally as delightful) child;
The changes this girl has made over the past year make me want to laugh hysterically and sob like a baby all at once. We had to say sayonara to any trace of our baby, and aloha to a fully fledged little girl. A little girl with a whole heap of attitude might I add. Her infectious personality is utterly enthralling, and I literally fall more in love with her everyday. Within the year she went from waddle walking to sprinting, from a handful of words to an entire vocab (not all entirely appropriate words either), and as of the last 3 weeks, she went from nappies to undies. Yeow! It's all still a work in progress, and public outings nearly give me a nervous breakdown, but we are nearly there!
Man I can babble on about those kids can't I? I'm definitely "that mum" who has no life outside of her children. But they're just so spectacular, who needs another life?! (Me! Me! Me!)
I'll move onto an adult now, my favourite adult to be exact;
The boyfriend, fiancé, partner in crime, and soon to be hubby. If it weren't for him, I would definitely have taken a trip to the asylum this year. It's been a testing time for us, a time that I figure could either make or break a couple, and thankfully, we made it. Looking back on the chaos from 2014, knowing we made it out alive together & smiling, confirms to me that we will survive anything. (Well, maybe not another child, but anything else.)
Another huge part of the year was regaining my health & fitness post Oscar. An impossible task I had assumed. Post Blake was just a mix of luck & genetics I had told myself. And when the weight didn't just 'drop' off this time around, I quickly realised that I'm probably going to have to work for it. So I did.
(6 weeks postpartum vs 8 months postpartum)
And as of right now, I'm rather chuffed to report, I am by far the fittest I have ever been in my life. Thankfully, somewhere along the line, it stopped being about how I looked, and is now solely about how I feel. Which is fucking fantastic. Going to the gym is my ultimate happy place, the sweet sweet hour of sweat & endorphins keeps me sane, and I can't wait to keep pushing myself throughout 2015 to see just how fit I can get.
Besides working out, I also found an escape in music, books, movies, and writing. Oli is a hub of musical knowledge, and he is constantly educating me / blowing my mind (how he knows so much about music is beyond me). I found love in the Arctic Monkeys and The Black Keys, and I cannot contain my excitement about seeing The Black Keys live in just a few short months!
I managed to read a fair few books through bleary eyes too, & two of the best were "The Goldfinch" & "Memoirs of a Geisha", and my two favourite movies were "The Skeleton Twins" & "Gone Girl".
Venting via this blog, has been such a wonderful thing for me too. Getting your emails, and messages about my writing makes me rather flattered and truly happy. So thankyou folks for sticking around!
The most important lesson I learnt throughout 2014 was that this parenting gig is absolutely nuts. It is chaotic, and frustrating, and exhausting, and utterly draining. And that's ok. Because that's what makes it so magnificent, the tears and the sweat and the sleep deprivation, and then their little hands holding yours, their eyes scanning a room to find yours, their sweet breath against your cheek, is what makes this rollarcoaster so fucking thrilling. Life was never meant to be easy after all.
(Oh you three, you crazy crazy trio. You are far too good looking for your own good.)
So sayonara 2014, I'm happy to see the back of you to be honest! 2015 is shaping up to be a real pearler. The child free Bali getaway in 6 short weeks hasn't left the back of my mind for months now, just the thought of total freedom makes me quiver with excitement! You mean I can actually go to a restaurant & eat and drink as much as I like for as long as I like? I can lie on the beach and read a book? A real book not a Peppa Pig one? Eeeeeeeek!!
Then we have Oscars first birthday bash in March, the Black Keys in April, and the big bonanza that is our wedding in May. The rest of the year doesn't exist as far as I'm concerned as nothing will top the month that is May. I'm bursting, exploding with anticipation!! (Can you tell by my use of one hundred exclamation marks?)
Happy New Year to you all, here's hoping 2015 is your very best yet! Can't wait to see some of your faces throughout the year!
Gem
Thought of the day "I just cut myself shaving (rare event) and swear I bled black coffee- addict"
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