Week In Pics

Over Christmas, after 3 long & loyal years, I upgraded my dino block (iphone 4) to an iPhone 6. The camera on this beast is on point, therefore I've been whipping it out at every opportunity to take a snap, here's some from the last week; 

We made them

Straya day fireworks outing (they were meh, but these two were spectacular to watch)

Dusk looking oh so fly 

We made lemon curd cupcakes & my number one critic couldn't wait to dig in 

Think that's a thumbs up 

The strangest, most fascinating movie

Oli dubbed him the 'Gayby'

Beach hangs with the crew 

Instagram Lols 

Mikaela & I took these spring chooks to the flicks, it was Blakes first time, and she sat through the entire thing! (Full credit goes to the popcorn for keeping her busy)

Moody weather in Perth 

My absolute favourite go-to meal when I cannot be farked with anything that involves effort, Thai Green curry 

And that's a wrap for the week folks! Time for the weekend, aka takeout, the beach, zero sleep ins for the 120th week in a row, aaaaand general slothy mcslothness. 

Enjoy yours won't you?

Gem 

Thought of the day "about to attempt a grocery shop with both offspring in tow, wish me luck"

You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? (Vol III)

Compiling a list of things that piss me off comes far too naturally, and let's be honest- it's far more entertaining than listing things that don't piss me off.

Number uno;

Cords that find other cords to couple up with in your bag, and then proceeding to wrap, twist, turn & loop until said cords are joined for life. (Do cords have teeny tiny magnets that find one another or something? Is someone pranking us all?)

2;

After packing ten bags of food, nappies, clothes, prams, hats, wipes, and the rest of the household, and fiiinnally all getting buckled into the car, checking the clock & realising we may just make it somewhere in time for once.... Only to find the big blaring orange 'E' light flashing. Every fucking time. 

3;

Judgey sales assistants. The other day I was in some fancy shmancy suburb on the hunt for some wedding shoes. The shoe shop I was in was shaped in a semi circle and I was on one side right beside the sales assistant, she walked around me in order to get to the beige-wearing, jewellery-clad middle aged woman who entered the store 5 minutes after me to offer her assistance. Look lady, I may be in trackpants and jandals & have a slight 'hobo' scent, but that's motherhood not poverty. You bitch. 

4;

Running out to grab four grocery items sans list, because it's four items. Who needs a list for four items? 15 minutes later, leaving the supermarket with three items because I cannot, for the life of me, remember that damn fourth item. 

5;

Living in a house where the kids bedrooms are right beside each other was a bad move. My latest trick, at 2am, 3am, or 4am, is bowling bleary eyed into the wrong child's room, thinking it was this one I heard crying out. Thus resulting in two upset children and one idiot adult. I need to learn to pause before entering, always pause.

6;

Static shocks. I'll set the scene- Blake and I are at the park, she 'weeeeeeee's'  down that static mine field that is a plastic slide, and she runs towards me. I run in the opposite direction. Or lift up a piece of my clothing to touch her first. Shocks scare the absolute shit out of me. Trampolines are the enemy.  

7;

Has anyone else noticed that loads of famous people are now loads younger than us? When did that happen? Famous people were always older than us, they were people to look up to and aspire to be weren't they? Now look at all these pre twenties, supple little millionaires. They grind my gears. 

8; 

Putting so much time, effort, and data into pirating a movie, only to find it doesn't play, the nerve!

9; 

Seriously, if one more childless ignoramus asks me what I do all day, I will explode. 

10; 

Lastly, to leave you on a more positive note (after all of that bad ass smack talk), do you wanna know one thing that doesn't grind my gears?

This beautiful man. Most days anyway. 

Happy Thursday folks, 

Gem

Thought of the day "radical lightening storms at 2am are freakin freaky"

Reading Watching Listening Vol IV

Hey folks, it's been a while since I filled you in on what's been cramming my cranium of late, so I thought it's about time I spilled my secrets... 

Reading;

Yesterday, I finished an absolutely marvellous novel by Khaled Hosseini, "A Thousand Splendid Suns". The story follows two women living in war-ravaged Afghanistan from the mid seventies right through to the present. It's violent, disturbing, heart breaking, terrifyingly true, and beautiful all at once. 

The main character Mariam is born a 'harami' (bastard child) to a wealthy businessman & his maid. Her Nana (mum) resents her for 'ruining her life' and tragically, commits suicide, resulting in Mariam being married off to an abusive, sadistic man "Rasheed" in Kabul. It is there they both discover Mariam is unable to have children, and what ensues is years of physical & emotional abuse at the hands of her husband. 15 years later, Laila is thrust into their lives after tragically losing her parents in a bombing by the Taliban. Laila is 14, pregnant to her lover Tariq (whom has just left to Pakistan), and homeless. She takes up Rasheeds offer of marriage and convinces him the baby is his. Without giving away the entire story, Laila too becomes a victim of both physical and emotional abuse via Rasheed, and yet, she forms this magical bond with Mariam that truly warms your soul. To me, the story was about feminism, courage, and finding love in the  most hateful of circumstances. 

This powerful book has set a high mark for my future reads of 2015, if you haven't read this already, please do.!

Pre "a thousand splendid suns", I read "memoirs of a geisha" by Arthur Golden. This novel totally rocked my socks also. It follows a beautiful young girl "Chiyo" from a small fishing village in Japan, who is sold off to an Okiya (geisha house) in Kyoto. There she eventually becomes one of the most successful geisha in Japanese history. Don't know what a geisha is? Niether did I. Read this book though, & you'll know more than enough. It is so intriguing, interesting, and informative. It's like peeking into an unknown & amazing new world, and it is wonderfully written. I lapped up every last page. 

This morning, I downloaded "A brief history of seven killings" by Marlon James. After reading a brief sypnosis online, and seeing it was in Time mags top 10 fictions of 2014, I thought it would be worth a crack. I'll let you know my thoughts once I get through it!

Watching;

Shameless & Girls are back, and I couldn't be more excited about getting my weekly dose of both. Those two shows always have me in hysterics, but if I had to play favourites it would be Girls. Twenty minute episodes are such a tease. Imagine having dinner and drinks with Lena Dunham? Ultimate evening. Both shows are disarmingly vulgar, shocking, captivating & hilarious. So fricken hilarious. I cannot get enough. 

Oli and I have also been hooked on "the walking dead". I'm a little 'meh' about it, although I continue to watch it most evenings. The main characters are pretty poor actors, but the gruesome zombie slaying is obviously enough to keep me around. Blood, brains & guts gets me every time! 

Listening to;

The Black Keys' new album "Turn Blue" has been running hot on the old iPhone all month. Those cool, bluesy, electronic, funky mother fuckers know how to make good music. They somehow manage to cater to every genre (blues, rock, pop, electronic) and there's definitely a little bit of something for everyone on this album. "Weight of love" & "Turn Blue" are my current faves, but I genuinely enjoy each and every song (rare). I cannot quite believe I'll be seeing these cats in a couple of months, I'm expecting incredible things!

If you haven't had a listen yet, you need to do so immediately! 

Oli recently put the Alt J album "This is all yours" onto my pod, and over the last couple of weeks I've really been warming to it. A lot of it is slow, and weird, but the music is really funky & the lyrics really clever. I had heard "Left Hand Free" loads on Triple J over the last few months and I bloody love that song, but "hunger of the pine" is definitely my album favourite. If you're after something chilled out, I would highly recommend Alt J! 

And lastly, on Saturday eve, Oli and I dusted off our dance shoes (we didn't actually dance) & went to see Fat Freddys Drop in fremantle. I hadn't seen this iconic Nz band live before, and let me just say, they did not disappoint. Holy crap that team of musicians is incredible! It made me rather proud to be a New Zealander to see them put on such an epic sold out show so far from home. And to top it off, it was made even more spectacular by the accompaniment of this sunset;

Right? Oh nature, you so prettaay.

Well, that's quite enough bantering out of me. It's currently 39 degrees out (faaaaark me!) so the kids and I are off to submerge in our clamshell pool out on the patio. It's a shark free zone out there, which makes me happy. 

Hope you all enjoyed every last moment of your long weekend both here & in NZ,

Gem

Thought of the day "I feel as though I may just catch on fire today"

Sayonara Sanity

The prognosis is bleak this week folks. I not only have children, but I have tired, teething, tyrant children, one of whom has decided sleep just isn't for him anymore. 

When does this madness end? No really, I want to know when. When will sleep become an uninterrupted blissful ordeal again? When will going out and about for an hour not require a full weeks planning/ packing the car? When will I only have to wipe my own butt? When can we just be normal people again?

I'm beginning to think the light at the end of the tunnel is much like the fictitious pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. 

This angry, emotional, and ungrateful side of me only comes out on special occasions, like this week after listening to my darling Oscar whinge constantly (fucking non fucking stop) for 6 days straight. 6 days of that is like cat years, it correlates to an entire year of torture. 

This is why we need our families close, to save our sanity, I get it now. Pity I well and truly lost my marbles months ago.

So basically, what I'm trying to get at here, is that we have two humans for sale. One semi miniature girl, and one miniature boy. They're really good looking if that helps! 

(Searching for positives..... Anything positive..)

Oh! I got my period, so at least I'm not pregnant again, that counts right? Too much info? Meh.

So throw in excruciating period pains and we have ourselves the worlds worst week! 

Shit, positives....Im really struggling here. 

We have a long weekend ahead! That's something. An extra day with Oli, and the kids. The screaming, little sunshine sucking, humans.

Ok fuck it, we'll work on positives next time.

Over & Out

Gem

Thought of the day "

I also suffer from schizophrenia. Brilliant. 

Week in Pics

Lazy Sunday afternoons call for picture books rather than novels, so here goes;

Teething babies suck 

Play pens rule 

Impromptu Wednesday eve seaside picnics are magnificent 

Throw in the most delicious hotdogs in the world & I think we have a clear winner for favourite day of the week. (This one was a mexi dawg with all the trimmings, drool)

Friday eve was spent wallowing in my tears over this film (is it so nerdy that I find Kristen Stewart so über cool? I love her raw approach to acting) 

What's your secret Blake?!

Deleting the FB & IG apps from my cellular on Thursday was the absolute best move I've made in a long time. Hello 20 extra hours in a day!

How I look pre coffee in the mornings too 

New seafolly as a "I've just finished breastfeeding & my boobs are very sad floppy eggplants" treat. (holy fuck their togs are ridiculously overpriced!)

We had leftover roast pork so Oli and I whipped up these 'banh mi thit' Vietnamese roast pork rolls, featuring refried roast pork in sweet chilli & soy, generous lashings of mayo, lettuce, sautéed carrots, buckets of coriander & fresh red chilli. As I was expecting an average sandwich, I was totally blown away when this tasty morsel hit my buds. We are now going to roast pork loins solely for leftovers. 

Our weekend was fairly lame unfortunately, grumpy kids paired with grumpy adults = a bit of a shitstorm of a situation. I think we are all sick of the confinements of home, going a little crazy with cabin fever. However, the alternative of going out, with two kids, is possibly even less appealing. See the dilemma? Any day now though, any day now and we'll hit the jackpot & make our first purchase of a full time live-in nanny. Problemo solved! 

What would life be without sweet sweet dreams eh?

Hope you all had a better weekend than I,

Gem

Thought of the day "bed, you are my saviour"

Summer Eats

Fresh produce, barbecues, and beer is what summer should and has tasted like this season. Here's a few of my favourites over the warmer months;

Caprese feat; bocconcini, rocket, tomato, and balsamic. Easiest & tastiest salad on zee planet

The BEST Asian slaw with; shredded cabbage, red cabbage, spinach, carrot, pickled ginger, coriander, lime & sesame seeds 

About those portions... This basic barbecue totally hit the spot. Homemade chippies, charred rump, and a simple avo, tomato, cucumber, beetroot, spinach, jalapeño salad.

Simple, fresh & delicious.

This salad was my personal favourite this season. Fried haloumi & capsicum on a bed of spinach, cucumber & tomato with a balsamic glaze. So salty & crisp & deliiiish.

Of course, summer isn't complete until you gorge on rice paper rolls. These babies had sweet chilli chicken, coriander, carrot, avocado, cucumber and capsicum. I don't know why I bother putting them in a container, as if I'll save them for later. Gone in the blink of an eye.

And lastly a breaky mash up of egg whites, feta, mushies, spinach & tomatoes on avo toast. I'm not normally into making special breakies as muesli is way too easy, but it's always good to change it up once in a while. 

I'm in a food slump again this week, running low on motivation & fresh out of ideas as to what to eat. Over the next few weeks I'm going to attempt to cut out some carbohydrates in order to try to lean out a bit before Bali. Day one was yesterday, and I ended up having toast for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and homemade kebabs for dinner. So ah yeah, not exactly a success. It's actually really difficult, any ideas?? Google sucks and is full of tins of tuna & cottage cheese- bleh. 

On today's agenda, when old snoozy head wakes up, we'll be off to the gym where I'm planning a run & some abs, followed by a near drowning in my own sweat (35degrees out there), and then lollipops with our favourites Mikaela & Noah. Hope you're all having a fabulous week!

Gem

Thought of the day "hello awards season! My favourite looks from yesterday's Golden Globes were definitely Emma Stone & Lorde 

Oscar 10 Months

The end of babyhood is nigh. Os is at the ten month mark today, and I'm neck-deep in quite an array of emotions. Mostly, I am in a state of shock at how quickly this once-upon-a-time teeny tiny helpless (distraught) morsel; 

(Awwwwwwww)

has transformed so rapidly into a commando crawling, ravenous, grunting, annihilative boy! 

This kid can eat. I mean seriously eat. Considering he only has 5 baby teeth, I'm surprised at how quickly he smashes a sandwich, or his morning 3 weetbix with banana. Three. It's no surprise my back is in a frail condition these days. 

He is still on the boob, but the feeds have very recently diminished to once or twice a day, it seems as though my supply has dried up much like it did with B at 8 months. Im not sure why my body just decides to shut up shop, maybe it is telling me it's time to take care of myself, maybe it's because of exercise, who knows, but I feel good about the length in which we persevered and am thankful it is happening before he could start saying "muuuuummm, boob!". That's when things get awkward. 

His personality is now streaming through, and despite initially thinking he may be a quiet wee thing, hiding meekly under his dramatic sisters shadow, we've recently realised we may have two loud, attention seeking sprogs on our hands. (Yaaaay.) Oscar sqwuaks so loudly, Oli and I have started calling him the Teradactyl. You guys remember Jurassic park? The flying screeching gigantic bird? Thats Oscar. Most of the time we are in hysterics about it, some of the time we are embarrassed (public outings) and then at 5am, it's just not funny. 

Before we had Oscar, we were told how different boys are to girls. And like anything in life, you never really believe it to be true until you experience it for yourself. Oscar could not be more of a boy unless he grew a beard. He is so rough and aggressive and hilarious. There is no such thing as picking something up daintily and nibbling at it like Blake did. He will pick up his sandwich, squish it between his fat little fingers, and stuff it all into his mouth, spitting bits in a trail behind him. It is really rather entertaining. 

What with all this eating, comes a truckload of sleeping (it's a tiresome life). He sleeps 3 times a day, normally for 1-2 hours, with a solid 10-12 hour stint at night. Don't ask me how or why he still sleeps that much, I don't ask questions, I just let the boy sleep. (Number one rule of parenthood; never wake the baby) 

All in all, the journey we've had with Oscar, has been like experiencing parenthood for the first time, again. He is certainly his own little person, and although he has demanded quite a lot of work, it is all starting to pay off. His contagious belly laughter echo's around our house on a daily basis, he brings us so much joy. And one day, hopefully soon, he will bring Blake some joy too. (At the moment it's all "ahhhhh NO occy that's MIIIIINE" often followed by a whack on the head- I repeat, toddlers are fun)

Speaking of B;

Underneath that tee is a bright purple pair of undies. Cos, you know, she just casually wears them all the time now, nappies are soooo 2014. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She pulls them down, she wipes, she pulls them up (with assistance), she proceeds to gloat "mummy I done wee wee's on da potty woooohoooo", we all clap & cheer, and two hours later, we repeat it all. Number two's weren't happening as regularly, poor thing was holding them in for days on end, alas we had a breakthrough today. Blakes first public poo. That is history right there. And I totally missed it by the way. It happened in the gym Creche where she went all by herself. I never thought poo would make me so proud. 

So we are thrilled with our two wee darls at the mo, even though life is on a constant fast forward and it's hard to find a moment to breathe, just taking the time to write things like this out, help to remind me how lucky we are. 

In other news, things are heating up around here, antiperspirant just isn't cutting the mustard, power bills are sending us broke, and tubs of icecream don't stand a chance in the freezer. Blakes Nana Kathy sent me a pic of some healthy ice blocks for kids the other day, with coconut water and fruit, so I recreated some and they turned out perfectly;

You literally just put coconut water and whatever you like into ice block moulds and freeze. Blake thinks they're an ultimate treat (sucker) so they're a hit around here. If anyone else has kiddies in a sweltering environment I would highly recommend trying these!

In wedding news, our legendary pals Abbey & Leon tagged in as Mum & Dad for the entire day on Sat in order for us to tick a few things off our to-dos. It turned out to be a highly productive day with our wedding rings bought, all the groom & groomsmen outfits bought, and over a delicious bottle of red, we reached the 'J's in music. We'll call that halfway. Wedding music is seriously hard, particularly when your favourite genre is rock, and in Olis case, most 'Tool' songs don't really fit the theme. Although we haven't actually reached the 'T' section yet, who knows what will make the cut.

When 2015 initially showed up I had a mini meltdown about the fast approaching nuptials, and now- I'm cool as a cucumber. (People still say that right? I said 'cool bananas' the other day and Oli gave me so much shit). I just want to be there already, having a laugh with our remarkable friends & family. 

Oh, quickly before I go, we watched an utterly MAGNIFICENT movie recently.. 

Whiplash;

I had genuine feelings for the characters in this movie, that's how good it is. Go see it, download it, whatever you gotta do, just don't miss it.

Au Revoir!!

Gem

Thought of the day "for some reason I have "everybooooddyyyy, yeeeeah, rock your boooodddyyyy, yyyeeeaaahhh" by the Backstreet Boys in my head and it will not leave, horrible."