You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? (Vol III)

Compiling a list of things that piss me off comes far too naturally, and let's be honest- it's far more entertaining than listing things that don't piss me off.

Number uno;

Cords that find other cords to couple up with in your bag, and then proceeding to wrap, twist, turn & loop until said cords are joined for life. (Do cords have teeny tiny magnets that find one another or something? Is someone pranking us all?)

2;

After packing ten bags of food, nappies, clothes, prams, hats, wipes, and the rest of the household, and fiiinnally all getting buckled into the car, checking the clock & realising we may just make it somewhere in time for once.... Only to find the big blaring orange 'E' light flashing. Every fucking time. 

3;

Judgey sales assistants. The other day I was in some fancy shmancy suburb on the hunt for some wedding shoes. The shoe shop I was in was shaped in a semi circle and I was on one side right beside the sales assistant, she walked around me in order to get to the beige-wearing, jewellery-clad middle aged woman who entered the store 5 minutes after me to offer her assistance. Look lady, I may be in trackpants and jandals & have a slight 'hobo' scent, but that's motherhood not poverty. You bitch. 

4;

Running out to grab four grocery items sans list, because it's four items. Who needs a list for four items? 15 minutes later, leaving the supermarket with three items because I cannot, for the life of me, remember that damn fourth item. 

5;

Living in a house where the kids bedrooms are right beside each other was a bad move. My latest trick, at 2am, 3am, or 4am, is bowling bleary eyed into the wrong child's room, thinking it was this one I heard crying out. Thus resulting in two upset children and one idiot adult. I need to learn to pause before entering, always pause.

6;

Static shocks. I'll set the scene- Blake and I are at the park, she 'weeeeeeee's'  down that static mine field that is a plastic slide, and she runs towards me. I run in the opposite direction. Or lift up a piece of my clothing to touch her first. Shocks scare the absolute shit out of me. Trampolines are the enemy.  

7;

Has anyone else noticed that loads of famous people are now loads younger than us? When did that happen? Famous people were always older than us, they were people to look up to and aspire to be weren't they? Now look at all these pre twenties, supple little millionaires. They grind my gears. 

8; 

Putting so much time, effort, and data into pirating a movie, only to find it doesn't play, the nerve!

9; 

Seriously, if one more childless ignoramus asks me what I do all day, I will explode. 

10; 

Lastly, to leave you on a more positive note (after all of that bad ass smack talk), do you wanna know one thing that doesn't grind my gears?

This beautiful man. Most days anyway. 

Happy Thursday folks, 

Gem

Thought of the day "radical lightening storms at 2am are freakin freaky"