The Pursuit of Happiness

Hi everyone, how are you going on this glorious day? 

Well today was somewhat of a momentous day for me, I bit the bullet & deleted my Facebook account. 

I've been wanting to cut ties with it for so long but I was torn between the convenience of staying in touch with everyone, and the constant crap that was clogging my feed. Eventually, the crap become too much & it had to go. Facebook was suddenly a very negative thing for me. It has such a competitive feel to it nowadays, well mine did anyway.

"Look how cool my life is everyone!! Look what I've achieved and you haven't!! Look how good I look and you don't!!"

Obviously that was only a small percentage of people, but that was the general vibe I was getting every time I logged on. And if it wasn't that, it was all about stupid videos of people either really drunk, or graphic pictures of animal abuse that people just love to post these days. I'm all for awareness of animal cruelty, I think it's disgusting, but do I want to see mangled and bloodied dogs on a daily basis? No I do not. It was making me physically sick. 

Initially, I thought about just going through & deleting certain people but then I thought, nah I'm not going to single people out and be that "bitch". Which is what I would have done in the past. It's me that has the problem with how it has become, it is me that was allowing myself to feel the way I did when I used it, and it's me who had to put a stop to it. I was finding myself getting sucked into this big facade of, "I must make my life look amazing in order to impress people I don't actually give a shit about"- how ridiculous right? 

Fact is, I don't actually care anymore. I did, far too much it seems, and now I don't. 

I guess you could say I'm on a journey right now, without sounding like too much of a organic-cotton-wearing-hippy, I am on the pursuit of happiness. 

Social media was/is definitely negatively impacting my pursuit. I want to be outside in the sun, not cooped up on the couch procrastinating on this tiny little device. I want to pay attention to the people that I am with without picking up my phone, and most importantly I want to be proud of the person that I am, not constantly trying to be someone I'm not..

And that's how I feel about social media right now, it was only making me feel like I need to do better, or be better, or look better- that isn't cool. At the end of the day, I just want to be me, with my crude sense of humour, impatience, bags under my eyes & a sprinkle of cellulite on my ass. I'm cool with all of that, and if I want to change or better myself, I want to do it for me. Or for Blake, or Oli. Not for the purpose of getting a few 'likes' or 'comments'. 

So I was sucked in, but I have managed to scramble my way out & make a few changes to my thoughts in the process. I'm not saying I'll never come back on Facebook, I know when the new baby arrives it'll be really handy to have again- but that's still a couple of months away so in the meantime we will see how I go being Facebook free & see if it helps me on my pursuit. 

Meanwhile, here I am stuck on my phone again! But that's ok because writing actually makes me really happy, I honestly feel like I could go on forever some days- but I'll save that for a diary in order to not bore you poor folk. 

If you want to get in touch email me on; Gemma.m.warner@hotmail.com- or if you're really keen, pen me a letter. How great were pen pals back in the day? As much as I love and appreciate technology and its place in society, some days I wish we could just go back and live simpler again. Life is on a constant fast forward stream.

Slow down, take a moment to appreciate what you have right now; endless sunshine, a sleeping infant & a fridge full of fresh fruit in my case. Excellent. 

Thought of the day "Dr Seuss is a genius"

Gemma 

Big Bad Birth

That old demon is back to haunt me- anxiety. It kind of feels like the birth is a constant shadow I can't shake.

I've recently been reeeeaaallly freaking out about going through this ordeal again. When I say ordeal, I mean trauma/ pain beyond belief. 

To say it isn't for the faint hearted is an understatement. Obviously, I've done it before so I can do it again, and also it is my own choice to birth at home and therefore without any pain relief, so I've really only got myself to blame (and Oli a little...) 

In the big scheme of things- my birth with Blake was relatively smooth sailing. She was in the perfect position, I was dealing with the contractions well, we were in the birth pool as planned etc etc... And then I transitioned. This is the part in which I am not too keen on experiencing again. 

Birth has 3 phases; 

- Active Labour

- Transition (pushing stage)

- Delivery of placenta 

Points 1 & 3 I was totally cool with (to a certain extent). 

Point 2 was a bit of a bitch.

It wasn't so much the pushing (I only ended up pushing for 25 mins and had no tears), it was just the excruciatingly slow opening of my pelvis where it felt like some bastard was snapping every bone in my body. Slowly. 

Sorry to paint quite the gruesome picture (and extra apologies for anyone that's pregnant) but sugar coating it really isn't going to help anyone. 

Luckily, (bright side moment) this phase is actually the shortest phase & as much as it sucks- it is over quite quickly. Ill give it that much.

I did voice these concerns to my midwife last week & she eased my mind a bit by telling me the second time is always much quicker & generally easier as the body doesn't go into total shock, it kind of just knows what's up this time. 

"Oh yeah, old mother hubbards pushing out another one, no sweat- I got you" (is what I hope my body/brain say)

But Sara does have 20 years midwifery experience, she knows her shit- so I'll happily take her word for it. 

I've also been reading Ina May's "A guide to childbirth" 

Which is actually a fabulous read. Sure it's a bit hippy & psychedelic, for example one of her hot tips to speed up active labour is to passionately kiss your partner, apparently it just opens that cervix right up. I doubt I will be in the mood for a pash mid labour but I'm willing to give anything a go once.

Beyond that, there is some really inspiring birth stories throughout it that have been warming my soul on a nightly basis. Sure my fears are still alive and kicking, but I doubt they will be flaring by the time this guy wants to meet and greet us. At the end of the day, the birth is inevitable- no point worrying about it, just gotta get on with it & think about the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. Wine!!

That was a joke.

So that's what's been on my mind as of late. I had a bit of an off day yesterday, felt really nauseous and tired so we just chilled out at home. Unfortunately it was

another sugar free day, and Oli ate a chocolate drumstick ice cream in front of me for dessert too. I felt like pushing it into his face. But I'm sticking to my guns & battling through it even though my brain was screaming "ICECREAM" all day. 

Today has been good, I managed to get to the gym, where I continue to get funny looks; (insert gym selfie, I probably should have taken one of me actually doing something besides hanging out in the locker room)

After that we went to spotlight (f'n love that place) to collect crafts for this bunting- which I am ridiculously excited to start right now! I'm the least craftiest woman in the world so we shall see how this goes... Ill be sure to post some pics of the finished product. 

I also just had a mammoth lunch of cruskets with avocado, cucumber, spinach, tomato & ham, and some watermelon;

Shit it was good! 

Later on I'm off to the outdoor movies to see "the book thief"- thank god today is eat all the sugar you like day, I'm fully stocked.

Hope everyone's having a lovely week!

Gemma 

Vegetable Frittata & Quinoa Sushi

Thought I would share a couple of recipes that really rocked my socks of late- for anyone that's interested;

Vegetable Frittata:

Ingredients;

1 kumara

2 potatoes 

1/4 pumpkin 

2 carrots 

Handful spinach 

100gm cooked bacon (if desired)

Pinch oregano 

Pinch mixed herbs 

Handful broccoli 

1 courgette 

100gm Danish feta 

12 eggs

Half cup milk 

You can actually put whatever you like in this, but this is what I used and it turned out delicious.

Method;

Preheat oven to 180.

Line a large baking dish with baking paper.

Peel potatoes, kumara & carrot. Chop, along with the pumpkin, into 1cm cubes (ish). Chuck into a large roasting dish with some oil and the herbs, and roast for around 30 mins.

Whilst they're cooking, chop the broccoli up into small pieces & the courgette into cubes aswel. Sauté them for 3-4mins with a dash of oil on high heat in a pan then leave aside. 

Then get a large mixing bowl and lightly whisk all 12 eggs along with the milk and plenty of salt & pepper. 

Once the vegetables in the oven are done, remove, but leave in tray. Turn your oven onto fan forced heat but still at 180.

Chuck the cooked broccoli & courgette in with the roasties aswel as the spinach, and the bacon.

Pour egg mixture over the vegetables evenly.

Chop feta into small cubes and scatter on top of the mixture.

Put in the oven until the top starts to turn golden (15-20mins)

And ta da:

Served over a bed of spinach this was seriously amazing, and even better as leftovers the next day. Pretty good for you too!

Quinoa Sushi:

I attempted this for the first time today and it turned out really well! 

Ingredients; (makes 3 rolls)

1 cup Quinoa 

1 Avocado

10 Cooked prawns 

1 Tbsp Rice vinegar

Jap mayo (kewpie is by far the best)

Cucumber 

Spinach 

Seaweed nori

Soy sauce to serve 

Method;

Cook the quinoa as per instructions and leave aside to cool. 

Whilst cooling chop the cucumber into sticks & the avocado into slices.

Once quinoa is cooled, toss through vinegar. 

Lay your seaweed shiny side down on your bamboo mat. 

Spread a few tablespoons of quinoa mixture evenly over the seaweed leaving 1cm at the bottom at 2cm at the top. Spread your ingredients evenly in a strip down the bottom like so;

Then using the bamboo mat, roll the sushi until it is all stuck together (practise makes perfect for first timers!)

I usually refrigerate my rolls for at least an hr before eating them just so they are a but firmer & less likely to fall apart. 

I made 2 prawn & avo rolls and 1 vegetable roll and they were both delicious!! A tad messier than usual sushi, quinoa bits flying everywhere, but really tasty nonetheless;

* I always send snapchats when I make new things like this as I'm super proud to try something different and healthy, my friend Aimee messaged me today after I sent a pic of the sushi and said, 'man you're healthy!' - I immediately felt like a fraud. I'm really not at all at the mo, but I'm hardly going to share my Vegemite toast and kit kats with the world. Just know that Vegemite toast is a normal lunch, this isn't.

Enjoy lovelies! And give em a whirl, you won't be disappointed.

Gemma 

A Productive Weekend

Hi folks! How are you doing? Everyone settling into 2014 well I hope?

Our first weekend of the year was a big fat success as far as getting things done goes... It dawned on us a week or so ago that we had nothing sorted for bebe número dos! No where for him to sleep, no means of travel, no clothes blankets etc... (Funny how with number one we had everything sorted and more by week 20) So we thought we had better get cracking on that. Naturally, up went a list; 

Check out all those cross outs! Shit yeah!

This list was a tad intimidating at first I must admit.. Obviously not all of it is baby related, but they're all things we've decided we need in order to have a happier living environment.

* Ok maybe the king bed isn't necessarily a need, but to say I'm sick of having elbows and knees all up in my grill each night is an understatement. And we figure pretty soon we will be squeezing two children in with us so clearly an upgrade wouldn't go astray.

So I got a little Gumtree crazy as of late, there are SO many bargains on there-especially for barely used baby gears, talk about options! We figured why pay hundreds of dollars on rip off retail prices when we can buy second hand? 

This was our bargain hunting outcome, so many goodies & all pretty much brand spanking new! I did have far too much fun hunting it all down admittedly, I may now turn into one of those people that spend hours finding things that we could really do without but I just had to have. Oops!

We decided we would get a bassinet for him rather than a second cot as we figured we might move Blake into a bed by the time he's ready to move out of the bassinet anyway, a much cheaper option aswel as using a lot less space. And if Blake isn't ready for a bed by the time he is ready for a cot we still have our portacot to use anyway. As for the pram, I doubt we will use it for a little while as I'll probably front pack him until he's fattened up a bit & can handle a few bumpy journeys but still, it'll be a necessity in no time I'm sure. And all the feeding gears were no brainers- last time I had a manual breast pump and let me just say, nightmare. Absolute f'n nightmare. My forearm is wincing at the memory. The medela swing seems to have the best reviews around so hopefully I can stockpile a freezer full of milk for those nights I delve into the wine cellar (pantry). 

Now we just need a set of drawers for extra storage & a few more bits & pieces and we are good to go! No doubt we will have a fresh list up there once we finish that one though, does anyone else find needs are simply never ending? Life could always do with that extra something, it's definitely the way around here..

Hmm what else did we do this weekend. Oh! I finished my new book! "The Tea Rose" by Jennifer Donnely, inhaled all 759 pages in less than a week. I was addicted, you literally could not pry the kindle out of my hands. Such an incredible story, the ending was ever-so-slightly disappointing as I felt it was a bit melodramatic but I'd still give it 4.75 stars- read it friends! 

I also cut Blakes fringe;

Hahaha classic mum cut. Blunt as hell, Oli and I are still laughing. Poor girl. But it was really getting in her eyes, I'll probably take her to a trained professional next time though, for her sake. 

^^ I ventured down the strangest neighbourhood on Saturday to find this feeding chair- does anyone else find this hilarious & creepy at the same time? Aromatic crescent? Chivalry way? Too funny not to stop & take pictures of each and every sign. It's the little things in life...

I did a bit more wedding research, and I'm starting to get more enthused about trying on some gowns in a few months- how stunning is this one?!

And finally;

Me. Every single night. No wonder I whinge about being so tired? The old cranium could do with an off switch. 

Ill leave you with a link to a song that I have been replaying over & over again recently; "It feels like we only go backwards" I've never been a huge Tame Impala fan but I am now, this one is epic;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wycjnCCgUes

(I'm also now seriously considering getting BDO tickets at 35 weeks pregnant in Feb, I will get funny looks but more importantly- I will see Pearl Jam, Deftones, ^ and these guys, it simply cannot be missed)

Thought of the day "forecasted for 39 degrees, lets get naked"

Gemma 

30 Weeks- on the home stretch

What's been happening: 

He is now around 1.5kgs & 41cm from head to heel. That's almost 1/2 a metre of baby! His lungs are close to being fully developed now, so he is almost prepared to come out into the big wide world. 

As for me, I'm still struggling with heartburn & some killer back & neck aches which is such a pain, but going to the chiro this week so fingers crossed they can work some magic on these weary bones. 

Weight Gain; I've been feeling rather wobbly this week, all self inflicted though as I just haven't been exercising as much as I would like to. You know how mentally you can convince yourself you've gained 5 kilos in a week? Well yeah, I've gained 20 mental kilos in the last 7 days. I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have actually gained more than 500gms, which is standard at this stage, but I'm definitely keen to get in some more exercise this week to up the sweet release of those endorphins. 

Workouts: Only 2 last week. One at the gym where I did 25 mins of incline walking, 4 sets of weighted squats, 2 wall squats, 2 sets split lunges & some kneeled leg raises. I couldn't do more than 2 sets of split lunges as I had the most painful groin which has been on-going lately, I remember getting sore 'down there' towards the end of my last pregnancy so maybe things are prepping early this time. 

Yesterday I went back to Jacobs ladder, I know... I don't listen to myself. But it was only due to the fact that I was in the neighbourhood picking up a pram & I was feeling good so I thought why not? Turns out I must have just been off last week as I did 6 laps fairly smoothly & felt really great post climb & even better today! So good to get out in the fresh air & get sweaty, reminds me of climbing that big ol' mountain back home... Except not as fun, at all. 

Movement: Like you wouldn't believe. We had our midwife appt last week & his head was right up underneath my ribcage, it was so strange rubbing his skull through my skin. I can find it with ease now, so solid! But yeah he's certainly a wriggler, I've had to adjust my car seat to a geriatrics position just so I can breathe & drive simultaneously too. At least he's got me working on my terrible posture! 

Food Aversions: Nope not really 

Food cravings: Ever since trying out that Ben & Jerrys half baked ice cream I've been craving it big time, we bought another tub last week- when I say we I mean I. But when Oli discovered it was $11.95 a pop for a tiny tub.. I was banned. So so good! And I've also had pancakes on my mind but I've been too lazy to make any yet. This baby sure  loves his sugar! (Easier to blame him)

Sleep: Big improvements since last week thank goodness, Blakes teething has chilled out a bit so we've been getting mostly full nights. I even managed an afternoon nap yesterday (I normally cannot sleep during the day no matter how tired I am) so that was an achievement! 

Miss anything: Just feeling like a normal human being really, no aches or pains or acid reflux would be bloody nice. I'm well & truly ready to be done with this pregnancy & have my body back to myself and our little darl here for us to stare at. 

Fun/ interesting things for the week;

A couple of weeks back Oli & I had a moment of clarity when we realised- shit! This baby is nearly here & we haven't organised a thing. So naturally, a list was put in place and we've been accumulating goods ever since. We've got so much done in the past 2 weeks & it's really starting to sink in that we'll actually be having a baby in 2 short months!! So it's been fun collecting newborn necessities, it's like a blast from the (not so distant) past. 

Stretchmarks; No, hooray!

Happy or moody: Happy 

Looking forward to: My goal this week is to make some bunting for his room so I'm actually really excited about that, and also another outdoor cinema date this week with my pal Keryn, thats something I've been hanging out for.. 

Bump update: 

This bump changes shape so often it's hard to actually figure out how big I am, he is sometimes perched so far forward I look full term & at other times he must be nestled in the back & I look about 20 weeks. But here was first thing this morn & he must have been somewhere out front as its rather prominent! Such a funny point going on there too.. 

Gemma 

Realistic Resolutions

I've never been one to make New Years resolutions in the past, they always seemed a tad presumptuous & often unachievable.. But this year, I've jumped right on that bandwagon & made quite the lengthy list of goals. Don't ask me why I had a change of heart, maybe it's because I've grown up a bit, or maybe it's because I've developed slight OCD since becoming a mum & lists excite me. Oh yeah. They really do. 

Regardless, I'm really enthused about what 2014 is going to bring, and looking forward to tackling most or all of my resolutions.

The goals I'll share are mostly personal goals, although Oli and I have a few together aswel, some I shall keep to myself.. 

Número Uno;

Be more patient. 

I am the WORST human when it comes to this, whether its waiting for Oli to do something like the dishes, waiting at traffic lights, waiting for Blake to eat... It just always seems like an impossibly slow process & I get way too worked up way too fast. It's something I really want to work on & hopefully I'll see things from a different perspective instead of wanting everything NOW NOW NOW!! 

Two;

2014 is my year to become 'one' with the kitchen. I want to get creative as hell in there & try some crazy recipes, hopefully some turn out edible... 

Three;

Cutting out social media. This is not only a goal, it's a necessity. Waking up & checking Facebook and Instagram each day is utterly ludicrous. I'm so off it. So technology free Tuesdays are being imposed (incl TV), and I'm just going to stop mindlessly scrolling through feeds of bullshit in general. Procrastination should at least be spent on Pinterest or my kindle.

Four;

This is a biggy, making time for me. I know it may sound ridiculous considering I'm about to have another human who needs 24/7 care & that is generally the time you give yourself totally over to motherhood. But I think it is incredibly important to take time out, whether it be 5 mins to listen to a song that I love, or an hr in the bath with my book- it really does make the world of difference & I definitely did not do this enough in 2013. Neglecting myself caused such a negative impact on my mind- sometimes you just gotta put number one first.

Any babysitters on offer? Two for one deal. 

Five;

This is one I've talked about many times, but this year I am implementing sugar free Tues & Thursdays for good. Ill be fine after the first month... Or two. Seriously though, eating that stuff every day is completely unnecessary & I certainly don't want Blake thinking its normal either. (I've just had my first day today by the way- success!)

Six;

I'm not actually sure when this trip up the aisle will be but I am sure I want to look absolutely banging when I do. How cliche right? I think it's valid. Every girl wants to look their best on their big day! This is a vague goal though as it goes hand in hand with my other fitness goals which are; 

-complete a half marathon

-do yoga once a week

-start dance classes

I'm so amped to start up dance again, I've already sorted a studio & dates, now I just hope I still have the motivation come June!! (Please be a good sleeper wee one)

Seven;

Haha this picture is so random. But also valid. We want to have a successful homebirth- preferably not outside with the sheep though. This is one that's important for both of us- so Olis going to have to start practising his positive affirmations soon! "You're amazing Gemma, you're in control of this, not long til you meet him!" Etc etc. I will lap that up.

Eight;

Have a date night at least once a month. This doesn't mean we have to go out & spend truckloads of money, we just want to light a few candles, cook some dinner, turn off the telly & get lost in each others eyes.. Something like that. Got to keep that flame burning!

Nine;

Make a green smoothie every weekday (provided we are at home). These babies are so bloody good for you & Blake slurps them back at the speed of light so why not aim to make it a daily thing? 

Ten;

Read. Just as much as humanly possible. I realise 2014 is going to be insanely hectic & I'll probably have to put my kindle away for a couple of months but as soon as we establish some sort of routine I want to read my little heart out. Nothing makes me happier than a good book. This should actually fall into my "me time" category but I feel like its so special to me it should have its own part.  

And finally, Eleven;

We should reeeeeaaaaalllllyyyy get onto this, so sorting out a wedding is on the cards. I was initially so excited after venue hunting in Bali but that's kind of worn off already. Once we have this baby, and I can fit into dresses again I'm sure things will kick off again. It's seems so daunting?!! I kind of just wish someone would wave a magic wand & we could all be dressed & in Bali celebrating and dancing the night away...  But it turns out magic isn't real so we'll just have to do it ourselves (myself most likely). 

And that's a wrap!!

Anyone else have any goals they'd like to share? Would love to hear them :)

Meanwhile I need to go & have a piece of toast as my sweet tooth is severely dissatisfied and crying out for something to void the gap!

Gemma 

NYE & NYD

Happy New Year!

How is everyone feeling today? Seedy I hope!! 

Our NYE was just like any other day really, Oli had to work but he was finishing up just after lunch. So whilst we were waiting for him we mucked about in our pjs watching cartoons all morning, until I decided - fuck it- it's New Years, and we have no plans so lets get dressed up for the hell of it... But it was mostly just because I had a lot of time to kill before he got home & was bored shitless. So after half-assedly shaving my legs whilst B was sifting through my draws & bringing me my lingerie into the shower (opening the door and saying "ta" and all), we ended up scrubbing up quite nicely. I even managed to squeeze into an old number that I thought I would have had no chance in, so that was my confidence boost for the day. 

I picked up this dress for Blake when I was pregnant with her at an op shop back home, so friggen cute, look at her checking herself out;

And this is what a highly uncomfortable outfit looks like;

I felt great for all of the ten minutes that I wore it. Long enough for Oli to arrive home & give me a wolf whistle & a smooch anyway. I also loved how my heels miraculously gave my legs shape again, wondrously hideously painful things aren't they? 

They were the first to come off. 

After all our dress up excitement, we got changed into appropriate gears and met up with some mates for a bite & a beer (water) in Fremantle. It was weird as everyone was just hanging out chatting like the day was nothing out of the ordinary. All the other patrons were much the same, the only way you could tell it was a special occasion was from the odd bunches of balloons scattered about. Seems as though NYE 2013 was universally dull, which made me feel much better about our plans to retire to bed well before midnight..

After that we ended up at home playing cards by candlelight & watching trashy re-runs on telly.

Oli did bust out the giant sparklers before bed though, which was hilarious as we felt so lame we couldn't stop laughing;

Post-fireworks extravaganza, it was 9pm & we were fading fast. Strangely (thankfully), our street was eerily quiet so it created the perfect ambience for an early night in, why not eh? 

Blake mustn't have been feeling the NYE spirit either as it was the first night in I can't even remember how long that she slept through!! 

Right through! 7-6! Hallelujah is all I have to say.

New Years Day was spent lazing about at home all morning, we are currently trying the methods from our new 'save our sleep' book & it requires a bit of nap training. Which by the way- seems to be working, woohoo! So whilst B napped away I whipped up a gourmet feast;

Bang on the money.

Following up her 2 hr sleep (yeah I did write that with a grin on my face, god I've missed those), we headed off to meet up with Blakes best pal Bailey and her parentals who were down by the river taking out the boat..

We spent a few glorious hours down there chatting & chasing down the girls. Blake really doesn't sympathise with my condition, I barely get to sit down for 60 seconds at any given time. 

Later on we decided we couldn't be bothered cooking, and we had completed our original goal of no KFC for 3 weeks sooooo..... 

Yum.

And now I'm going to try a month without it, it definitely makes it a lot more enjoyable when it's spaced out. 

Funnily, Oli said the line was huge there- seems like many people don't start their reso's on the 1st! Hangovers have a mind of their own I think...

And that's a wrap! I somehow just managed to make a post out of us not doing much at all over those two days? 

Today will be my first day at the gym for the year, and my first sugar free day for the year. Ill share some of my NY reso's with you all in the next post... I'm rather excited about them!

Hope you all are feeling sprightly-

Thought of the day "I just want to read my book & drink tea all day"

Gemma