Well today was somewhat of a momentous day for me, I bit the bullet & deleted my Facebook account.
I've been wanting to cut ties with it for so long but I was torn between the convenience of staying in touch with everyone, and the constant crap that was clogging my feed. Eventually, the crap become too much & it had to go. Facebook was suddenly a very negative thing for me. It has such a competitive feel to it nowadays, well mine did anyway.
"Look how cool my life is everyone!! Look what I've achieved and you haven't!! Look how good I look and you don't!!"
Obviously that was only a small percentage of people, but that was the general vibe I was getting every time I logged on. And if it wasn't that, it was all about stupid videos of people either really drunk, or graphic pictures of animal abuse that people just love to post these days. I'm all for awareness of animal cruelty, I think it's disgusting, but do I want to see mangled and bloodied dogs on a daily basis? No I do not. It was making me physically sick.
Initially, I thought about just going through & deleting certain people but then I thought, nah I'm not going to single people out and be that "bitch". Which is what I would have done in the past. It's me that has the problem with how it has become, it is me that was allowing myself to feel the way I did when I used it, and it's me who had to put a stop to it. I was finding myself getting sucked into this big facade of, "I must make my life look amazing in order to impress people I don't actually give a shit about"- how ridiculous right?
Fact is, I don't actually care anymore. I did, far too much it seems, and now I don't.
I guess you could say I'm on a journey right now, without sounding like too much of a organic-cotton-wearing-hippy, I am on the pursuit of happiness.
Social media was/is definitely negatively impacting my pursuit. I want to be outside in the sun, not cooped up on the couch procrastinating on this tiny little device. I want to pay attention to the people that I am with without picking up my phone, and most importantly I want to be proud of the person that I am, not constantly trying to be someone I'm not..
And that's how I feel about social media right now, it was only making me feel like I need to do better, or be better, or look better- that isn't cool. At the end of the day, I just want to be me, with my crude sense of humour, impatience, bags under my eyes & a sprinkle of cellulite on my ass. I'm cool with all of that, and if I want to change or better myself, I want to do it for me. Or for Blake, or Oli. Not for the purpose of getting a few 'likes' or 'comments'.
So I was sucked in, but I have managed to scramble my way out & make a few changes to my thoughts in the process. I'm not saying I'll never come back on Facebook, I know when the new baby arrives it'll be really handy to have again- but that's still a couple of months away so in the meantime we will see how I go being Facebook free & see if it helps me on my pursuit.
Meanwhile, here I am stuck on my phone again! But that's ok because writing actually makes me really happy, I honestly feel like I could go on forever some days- but I'll save that for a diary in order to not bore you poor folk.
If you want to get in touch email me on; Gemma.m.warner@hotmail.com- or if you're really keen, pen me a letter. How great were pen pals back in the day? As much as I love and appreciate technology and its place in society, some days I wish we could just go back and live simpler again. Life is on a constant fast forward stream.
Slow down, take a moment to appreciate what you have right now; endless sunshine, a sleeping infant & a fridge full of fresh fruit in my case. Excellent.
Thought of the day "Dr Seuss is a genius"
Gemma
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