Late yesterday afternoon, I found myself flicking through our digi cam pictures. As most photos are taken on our phones, I never seem to think about this forgotten camera. Much to my surprise, I found this pic;
How I did not know about this picture is beyond me? It is utterly magnificent. Oli my rock, my wingman, my love, holding Oscar as he is welcomed into the world. Taking his first breaths, seeing and feeling love for the very first time. Gulping back oxygen, feeling his dads thumping heartbeat against his soft skin, and all from the comfort of our lounge.
It only occurred to me yesterday, that Oscar was born at home. Of course, I knew it were true, and I was happy with the birth at the time. I just don't think I ever really let it sink in, that such a massive & significant event actually happened right here. Where I am sitting at this very moment.
As I typed out the birth story all those months back, I remember thinking only of the actual birth process. Which would have been exactly the same no matter where I had been. Birthing centre, hospital, or at home. And now that I'm (semi) past the memories of labour pain, I've come to the realisation, that what we experienced, was nothing short of magic.
Many women around the world dream of having a birth like ours. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way for everyone. After seeing a few "home birth mamas" up on IG over the last few days, talking about their disappointment in having an emergency C-section, or having to transfer to hospital at the last minute, I realised we should count ourselves lucky. I hadn't even really thought about how fortunate we were to have everything go so smoothly. The slightest thing could have altered our entire experience, and I feel as though I may have taken it for granted. Here I am thinking, yup we planned a homebirth, and therefore we had a homebirth. Simple right? Well, not really.
Firstly, we had a healthy thriving baby, a marvellous midwife & back up midwife, a community run program that funded homebirth in WA, and I had Oli who backed me all the way. Secondly, the actual birth went according to plan. This is where a lot of problems occur as every birth is different, and every process is different. Without ticking all of those boxes, we would have been in that car mid surges- juggling Blake and a strong urge to claw my way out of a moving vehicle.
We got the birth we wanted. When so many women don't have that satisfaction. And I think it's only now, that I have gained the gratitude for the entire experience.
On top of that, I'm also incredibly proud of myself. I am grateful for all of the above reasons, but I cannot forget to be grateful for being who I am. I think too many people are too scared to pat themselves on the back these days. Me included. What I did was amazing. The strength, endurance (mentally & physically), and courage that it took to birth at home, was everything I had. My 100%, and I really do feel as though I deserve a medal. That's not just for me though, I feel as though any woman who has given birth, naturally or not, needs a medal. It is a life changing experience & one that should be commended. Women are incredibly resilient humans after all.
The passion I have for birth has flourished hugely over the past two years. So much so that I am planning on becoming a qualified home birth midwife upon our move back to NZ. Just thinking about being a woman who helps women through the most significant experience of their lives give me chills!
So that's where I am at today, reminiscing & feeling extremely grateful, as well as dreaming of bigger things to come. And possibly even another birth for us, I'm hooked!
Honeymoon baby?
Happy hump day!
Gem
Thought of the day "last day of work!"
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