Yeah me either.
Do people even sleep for 12 hours straight anymore? It sounds so dreamy. I'd be stoked with 6. Hell, give me 5 and I'd be up and at 'em ready to tackle the day.
Alas- the current trend around here is 2 hours...max.
I'll just leave that sentence up there on its own so you can all grasp the full dramatic weight of it. 2 freaking hours. And that's a good sleep! Needless to say- things are pretty tense around here at the mo. Even though just 3 weeks ago I was getting a big fat 8 hours minimum each night, it literally feels like light years ago now.
Sleep deprivation is the absolute pits. I feel like some warped half human / half milk machine running on auto pilot. It's really really really tough, mentally and physically, and most days I feel like either screaming into my pillow or just crying in defeat/ despair. The worst bit is- I should be enjoying this time & soaking up every tidbit of this wonderful wee being we've just welcomed into the world, but I'm just not. Turns out its really hard to bond with a baby that does nothing but cry. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better & I will sleep again & it will be ok before we know it, and it's not that I don't believe them (I would probably rather jump off a bridge than continue like this if this weren't true) but the future tense is really of no use to me right now. Because right now- I just need to sleep.
So now that I've dealt with this relentless routine for 3 weeks straight- I think I can sympathise hugely with, and possibly apologise to, any mothers who I gloated to about Blakes spectacular sleep pattern right from birth. I can't believe this is what some of you deal with!! I can safely say I had no idea that this was considered normal newborn behaviour. Yesterday I made the mistake of looking at Blakes plunket book just to see where she was at by this stage etc... She had just done her first 8 hour sleep by the end of week two. Reading that made me want to weep. I definitely blame her for my misconstrued and bias views.
Anywho, life goes on, and I'm just taking each day as it comes- grabbing a snippet of sleep here & there, and eating raw nutri grain by the fistful. One thing I haven't managed to do yet is have a decent workout- and god I am craving it massively. I know to some this may sound ridiculous considering I'm barely sleeping and it's only been 3 weeks but exercise is what keeps me sane, I absolutely love it. It's not about losing weight or toning up, it's about releasing those endorphins, sweating out some stress & upping my energy levels. So before the week is up I am going to get good and sweaty- watch this space.
Today I braved the outside world by packing up the tribe and heading to Keryns place. It was marvellous. Blake thoroughly enjoyed playing with her favourite buddy & I thoroughly enjoyed some adult conversation. Not to mention Oscar sleeps soundly as soon as I turn on the car- I think we'll take trips more often actually...
Poor B has been a bit attention deprived these last couple of weeks, thank goodness for 'ABC for kids' channel is all I have to say- lifesaver. I do feel bad, but it's all part of the journey & hopefully we can get out for more walks and friendly visits to Keryns more often in the coming weeks..
Well, the sun has set on another evening, I wonder what tonight has in store for us? Hopefully a sleepy baby after all those travels today.
I hope everyone is happy & healthy on this humpday!
Thought of the day "if anyone wants to find me I'll be driving laps around the block"
Gemma
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