Parenting 101

"It never ceases to shock me, the familiar jolt, the umbilical nature, of parental love"

"The Girl You Left Behind", by Jojo Moyes

This extract from a book I'm currently reading really struck a chord, and left me pondering on what exactly it means to me, to be a parent...

Becoming a parent completely and utterly changed my entire life. 

A few grunts, obscenities, a fair bit of blood, and HELLO- there's your baby. Suddenly, the following days, weeks, months, years of your life, are no longer selfishly your own. They belong to this tiny creature who grows at a mutant rate. 

From day one, I was overwhelmed by a fierce protectiveness that made me feel like a lioness with her cub. Although I was, by no means, in a dangerous environment- you couldn't tell me that. The teeth were bared, and the claws were out. As time went on, I reluctantly learnt to let go & let other mammals interact with my offspring, yet the overwhelming protective feeling never fades. Not one bit. 

Being a parent means living in fear. Living in constant fear for the safety of your children. All of a sudden, everything poses a threat. The door frame, tv stand, toilet, book, even the soft toy with the long dangly bits of string hanging from it (bits of string scream danger). I feel slightly maniacal, as I scan around from object to object in every new place I go, envisioning the worst-case-scenario each & every time. That's all part of being a parent. 

It is about a lot more than unjustified fear & crazy possessiveness though. In a few words, parenting, to me means; responsibility, teaching & being taught, perspective, exhaustion, uncontrollable laughter, mentally physically and emotionally demanding (all.the.time), preparation, routine, discipline, stress, patience, energy, giving, balance, consistency, following your instincts, and above all else... Unconditional love. Ridiculous amounts of love. A scary amount of love.

I would be lying if I said I don't think about the pleasures of a past life. One that involved late nights & lazy sleep ins, a wardrobe of pretty clothes, annual holidays, weekends away on a whim, many brunches, and exercise wherever and whenever I felt the need. It was an indulgent life, one that I thoroughly enjoyed and think back on with great joy. Alas, nothing compares to watching a human being, your human being, grow each day in front of your very eyes. I write this as Blake is perched on my knee looking up at me as if to say, I know you Mum, I trust you, and I love you. 

Now feed me. I'm hungry. 

On that note- I must dash, slavery is yet to be abolished around here. 

Thought of the day "how did that come out of that? Amazing"

Gemma