That night we had our antenatal class, and about halfway through I had some stronger twinges so we decided to leave as sitting on the hard wooden chairs was becoming less appealing by the second.. When we announced we were leaving to the class because I could possibly be in labour, I specifically remember one of the male partners jaw literally dropping in an almost comical way. It was as if he didn't expect it to happen, ever. His face that night still makes me laugh, pure fear of the unknown!
When we got home things seemed to simmer off and we just went to bed as per usual. I was still getting the tightenings but they were not strong enough to keep me awake. At around 4 the next morning I woke up to some stronger tightenings. This was it!! Or so I thought.... I went upstairs and made myself a red raspberry leaf tea, in hope that it could really get the party started. I grabbed a notepad and started to write down the contractions, they were regular for an hr but then became irregular and by 7am they were 15 mins apart and still not very strong. I called my midwife who said it sounded like the onset of labour but it could still be a while/ days away. Oli called up work anyway to tell them his 2 weeks off would be starting that day, I'm not sure whether he believed it was all go or whether he was just ready for that 2 weeks off!
That morning we went for a long walk along the beach hoping it would get things moving, but no luck. We ended up lazing on the couch for the remainder of the day listening to music and just waiting... For anything really. But nothing came..
That night I had a bout of contractions that had me buckled over, right before bed. They were definitely more intense than the others but if only I knew what intense actually meant at that stage.... I was in for a nice surprise! I didn't get a lot of sleep that night and nothing progressed but the contractions continued on / off. The thing is, I had never heard of false labour. In everything I had read over the past 9 months no one thought to write or say, "oh hey, you could have contractions for days leading up to the birth, and you could think it's real labour but its actually not and it could be extreeeeemely frustrating" I missed that memo. I had just assumed that once it had begun, 12-24 hours later we would have our baby. Because that's what our antenatal classes taught us, and that's what the books told us, but no such luck.
So by Saturday I was fairly tired and over it, well and truly ready for some serious action.
Saturday bought nothing, barely even a tightening. I did squats up and down our stairs, I ate curry, and we even tried the having sex method- which let me say is not that easy with a baby that big parked right in the middle of us. I had plans to walk up the Mt with my girlfriend Josie that day but Oli wouldn't let me risk it just incase I got to the top and my waters broke or something chaotic like that. It would have been hilarious though if you ask me! We had a fancy dinner with Olis parents later that night to celebrate him becoming a qualified electrician, it was such a delicious meal and really nice to relax and take my mind off trying to get the baby out.
That night was another fairly sleepless affair, I think I got around 3 hours total, the tightenings were back but not enough to be sore, just enough to keep me awake...
So along came Sunday September 2nd... Which was ironically Father's Day. We were sure today was the day, after all it would be a pretty cool first Father's Day gift for Oli. We went for another walk around the Mt and I did at least 100 stair squats that morning, which I wish I didn't in hindsight as I really could have done with that extra energy later on. And then, I remembered what our antenatal teacher had suggested. Castor oil!! That was one we hadn't tried so off we went to pick up a bottle from the chemist. I contemplated whether to do it or not all afternoon. I was only hesitant because I recall being told of its laxative effects and I wasn't sure I wanted to deal with all of that at that stage. But, I put a teaspoon of it into some Orange Juice and gulped it down at approx 5pm. I read up about it on google prior to that and it mostly said that it won't put you into labour unless you're really ready to go anyway so I figured why not? Also, a girlfriend of mine had used it for her first birth and she said it worked first go, so that was enough to sell me. At around 8pm I got the shits. Big time. Funnily, we were watching One Born Every Minute at that time and I was running to the bathroom every 5 minutes until I was literally empty. And that's when the first real contractions kicked in...
They were 5 - 6 minutes apart and it felt like cement was surrounding my stomach. I had never got period pains before and everyone says they're like them but on steroids, so I couldn't really compare them to anything else. But they hurt, and they were intense enough to have to actually stop and breathe through each one. They were only 30-45secs long at this point and I was still perfectly ok, laughing and joking in between them. This went on until around 11pm and they still weren't getting too sore so I thought maybe we should try get some sleep seeing as I hadn't had a lot in the last 3 days and this could take a while (Something I probably should have thought of before I took the castor oil, or I should have at least taken a nap. I was too jacked up on adrenaline). Getting into bed was a bit of a joke, within less than 5 mins we were up again and I asked Oli to fill up the bath and set up some music in the bathroom because it's showtime. The bath idea didn't work out as I couldn't move around in at as much as I felt I needed too, so around 12pm I gave up and decided to get ready for the hospital.
Oli had called our midwife at around 10pm to give her an update and she said it was just the beginning but to call her as soon as the contractions got closer together. By 12pm, I was getting them around 4mins apart. They were still manageable and I felt like we were handling them well. I remember glancing at myself in the mirror and realising I was not giving birth looking like that, so I plopped myself in front of the mirror and began to put on my make up. I know this may sound absolutely ridiculous but it wasn't to me, I wanted to look respectable for this grand meeting! So putting on make up whilst dealing with contractions was a bit of a laugh, I so wish we had some of those moments on film...
Meanwhile, Oli was busy upstairs packing snacks, or so I thought. When I was done getting ready I made my way up there and turns out he was making himself some buns to eat before we left, haha, he is seriously the funniest person I know. In his defence he did offer me one but I wasn't really in the mood for a snack at that point.
This was at 12:30 and it was at that point when things started to get serious. Suddenly the contractions were so incredibly intense they were bringing me to my knees. I found being on all fours was working best for me and I was letting out an animalistic cry at every contraction to release tension. Oli tried using hot wheat packs on my back but they were horrible, as were the hot flannels. Funny how some people can swear by certain methods and some just cannot bear them. I made my way downstairs to the couch where I perched on it on all fours and leant over the back, breathing and roaring through each contraction. It's so incredibly hard to describe how they felt at this point, it is an all-encompassing pain that totally takes over your entire body and mind, you are possessed. It was about 1:30 by now and they were lasting 1min and were 3 mins apart. I started to fear the onset of them, those 3 minutes in between were a slice of paradise that would come and go in the blink of an eye, yet the 1 minute was excruciatingly slow, it was as if I were sitting in front of a ticking clock in slow motion. Torture.
I think Oli realised it was time we got to the hospital, so he called our midwife and she said she would meet us there. The 20min drive is a bit of a blur... I do recall being on my knees in the front passenger seat facing backwards and gripping the seat with such force I'm surprised I didn't break a finger. Mercifully my contractions eased to 5mins apart on that journey and I only experienced 2 in the car from memory. I specifically remember looking out my window at some point and noticing it was a full moon that eve, which I found funny as a few days before my yoga teacher (who was a bit of a hippy) told us that more babies are born on nights with full moons.
Suddenly we were there. Oli seemed to be in a bit of panic mode and he was running around the car trying to grab all our gear. As we approached the hospital doors we realised they were locked so Oli rang the buzzer and simultaneously a heavy contraction began to kick in. I was buckled over and the lady over the speaker said "how can I help", Oli started spluttering and literally didn't know what to say, it was one of those moments I couldn't laugh at at the time but afterwards we had a good chuckle. Anyway, so I screamed out, "MATERNITY!!!!!!!" and the door slid open....
Of course the maternity ward has to be a million miles away from the entrance, so as we were rushing to get to the lift, me hobbled over like a geriatric, I would have to stop in the middle of the hallway to get on my hands and knees and deal with a contraction, screaming and all. We were SO grateful it was 2am at this point as there was no one around to witness this dramatic scene, I can't even imagine if it had been 2pm which is visiting hours at Tauranga Hospital.
So when we finally made it to the ward, our midwife had reserved a pool room for us in advance, not that she needed too as it turns out I was the only one in labour that night! There goes that full moon theory eh? We had previously had a scope out of the ward a few weeks back and there were only 2 rooms available with pools that work on a 'first in first served' basis so I had been a bit nervous about that. But luck was on our side and we got the best room by far, it was huge with a big round pool smack bang in the middle of it. Jackpot! A few minutes after we arrived, our midwife Shona showed up, and I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She seemed to just bring an air of calm with her and I felt immediately at ease. She said she could tell that I was in an advanced stage just from how I was reacting to the contractions, and asked me to get up on the bed for a quick exam. I was so nervous about this check because if she were to tell me I was still 1 or 2cms I would have been so discouraged. I had a strong contraction whilst she was 'down there' and the need I had to get off my back was urgent! So she got in and out as fast as possible and turns out I was nearly 6cm which was fantastic news. This immediately gave me a confidence boost and I felt like I could actually nail this birthing business. The worst was still yet to come though...
As the pool was filling up, I leant over the bed through the contractions and Oli put on some Incubus for me. Shona sat at her desk and wrote notes and I just tried to zone out. There were still a few laughs here & there at this point too so that was also a good sign, the antenatal teacher had told us that we would know when I was about to 'transition' to the pushing phase as there would be no laughter in the room.
It was around 3am when I got into the pool and the contractions were now 1min apart and 1min long. The break barely felt like a break at all and they were building up rapidly now. I felt so powerless and almost under a spell, completely succumbing to the process. The pool was so much better than being out on land though, it definitely relieved some pressure and gave my thighs a much needed rest after quite a few hours on all fours. I started focusing on 1 freckle on Olis arm during each contraction, he would be telling me to slow down my breathing and I would focus so hard on that freckle and breathe as deeply and for as long as possible. During one contraction he moved his arm and I lost sight of the freckle, this totally threw me out and I yelled at him to not move a muscle. So he was leant over the side of the pool with his arms crossed, our faces were only centimetres apart and it felt like we were truly in this together..
By 4am I started shaking excessively, I was transitioning. My teeth were chattering and I was crying in between the contractions, telling them "I couldn't do it anymore, please help me". I could tell Oli wasn't coping very well but I was too focused on myself to worry about him at that point, the contractions felt like they were literally ripping me in two. The pain was indescribable, intense doesn't even scratch the surface, but it is the only valid word. Shona checked me in the water and I was 8cm, but my waters still hadnt broken. I lost any 'zen' that I had at that point and told her she needed to get me some gas, even if it were just to humour me, I needed something to think about other than what was happening. So off she went to track some gas down, it felt like an eternity that she was gone and in that time I felt a sudden 'pop' and suddenly the water turned murky. Immediately my body went into push mode, there was nothing I could do to stop it and I just started pushing with all my might. Shona was still not back so it was just Oli and I in the room and by this stage he had turned rather pale. He pushed the panic button and Shona strolled in not long after with some gas. She was probably gone for less than 2minutes total but it felt like at least half an hr. Oli and I were both in serious panic mode and she told me not to push as she had only just checked and I was only 8cm. But I told her I couldn't help it, the urge was completely overwhelming, so she checked again but this time I was good to go! As soon as my waters had broken I had shifted from 8cm to fully dilated, it was now 4:30am and we were about to meet our baby girl. I sucked on the gas a few times but felt no effect whatsoever other than relief at having something to control my breathing. The little device you suck on is incredibly good for breathing control, I think it was also because just before that we had been alone in the room and fear took over therefore my breathing became far too shallow. So it was great to gain some control again and get in some deep breaths. I kept thinking about everything I had read and how long this process can take, so I had mentally prepared to push for at least an hour. Shona was guiding me through it calmly and firmly, "give me a big push Gemma", teeth gritted and pushing with all the strength I had left in me "now give me a little push, not too hard" and I would give her what she asked for. I felt her head crowning and it was the strangest thing imaginable. It felt like exactly what it was, pushing a child out your vagina. I managed to get her head out, only to feel her suck back in at the end of the contraction. But on the next one I got her out again, and there was a full 30 seconds there where her head was between my legs underwater, it was surreal. The pushing part didn't hurt at all, it just felt like a lot of pressure, a shitload of pressure actually. On the next contraction I pushed her body out and before I knew it she had swum between my legs and she was on my chest. She didn't make a sound, just looked up at me and we shared a peaceful and beautiful moment of silence. Blake Isabella Tabak was born at 4:58am on Monday September the 3rd, after 8 hours of labour and 25 minutes of pushing.
Oli had to wait until the next year to celebrate Father's Day.
That's it folks! Every last detail. I had never written that all out before and it was actually incredible to almost relive the experience.. I hope you enjoy the read!
Gemma
