Well, where do I start!!
It's been a busy few days with the scan and then a lot of catch ups with friends... I love socialising. It is surprisingly rare to see friends these days, particularly when they live afar, but even when they live just 20 mins away... Life just seems to get away on us. I could go ahead and blame the baby for this but when I actually stop to consider it, most of the time it's just pure laziness. "Nahhhh, can't be bothered today, we'll go see them tomorrow". I'm bloody terrible for it, and after catching up with so many great people over the last few days I don't even know why I avoid it? There is nothing better than a hearty laugh with friends, and I certainly did my fair share of hyena cackling this weekend. It was bliss!
So Friday afternoon we found ourselves nervously awaiting our appointment at the radiology clinic. I felt that irrational fear creep back in earlier that morning, plowing thoughts of "what if something's wrong", "what if its heart isn't beating" into my head.
What if what if what if.
Why is it that when we think of possible scenarios or 'what ifs' they are always negative options? Why are we programmed to think the worst? Or is it just fear poisoning our minds, enhanced with far too much media and shocking stories plastered through every newspaper or magazine. Whatever it is, it's annoying, and unwelcome. I would much rather think 'what if our baby is perfectly healthy' or 'what if everything is ok'.
So finally, in we went to banish these what ifs for good. We were greeted by the sonographer with the opening line "I don't talk during these scans because I can't concentrate on what I'm looking for if I'm talking".
Us "ahhhh ok".
Oli and I then shared a look of mutual agreement that this lady was a weirdo. It was actually a bit of a let down having a mute sonographer, in previous scans its usually always really personable women saying things such as "now here's the wee hand, oh look its waving at you", followed by a collective "ohhhh cute". So to sit in silence whilst the lady did her business not knowing whether our baby was ok or not was actually horrible. We did see the heartbeat almost right away though so that was a relief, and the little sprog gave us a wave or two at the start which made my heart skip a beat. When she was done checking over all the bits and pieces she finally broke the silence with, "well everything seems to be perfectly normal", that's when I started to breathe again. I had felt so tense I thought I would spontaneously combust.
She was wrapping things up and Oli quickly jumped in & said "can you tell the sex", I was so incredibly nervous about this and I have no idea why. Our baby was healthy and happy so it didn't really matter. I think it's just because when you find out the sex, it changes everything. Suddenly you can picture the baby and what he or she will look like, pick out names, colour co ordinate bedrooms etc... All the reeeeally important stuff. The lady then got out her magic wand again and started searching for the treasure. "Well we can never be too sure about these things you know, and we could always mistake it for the umbilical cord but I do think I can see something in between those legs that isn't the cord"
EEEEEEEEKKKKK!! I let out a small squeal of delight, not feeling overly comfortable expressing my emotions in the room with the weirdo. But as soon as we were out of the room, there were high fives all around. I had an inkling that he would be a boy, and I had had a few dreams where he was a boy so it just felt right. Needless to say, Oli was beside himself with joy, as much as we would have both loved a little sister for Blake- he did have high hopes for a little man. So we are both over the moon and we can't wait to meet him!!
In other news, I have just finished a fantastic book called "When I found you" by Catherine Hyde. 5 stars from me, but good books are always over so soon, I polished that one off in 2 days flat, has anyone else read any goodies lately? Please share if so! ( I still haven't got into the Luminaries, I think because it is such a long book the thought of it is daunting me, but I'll get there)
And also, I went to a spin class spontaneously on Sunday morning. I don't know why, and I don't think you'll find me back there anytime soon. What is with those seats? Surely they could pad them up a bit better so your bum doesn't get so harassed. I'm still wincing every time I sit down... Good workout though.
Lastly, we just got back from a lovely day at the park, where we randomly ran into our friends who are over for the week. Uncanny how that happens, but it was really good to get out and soak up some rays, Blake had a great time even if she was just trying to run away from me at every chance she got...
I didn't take it personally.
That's it folks!!
If anyone has any book recommendations please send them my way!
Thought of the day "4 weeks until a holiday!"
Gemma
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